Leaders Essentials: Working with Difficult People (I)

It took me a long time to get this, but when I did, it paid off. There are no difficult people, but people in difficult circumstances who act out.  When you have an understanding of where people are coming from, you are better able to understand and get along with them. There is a proverb that says when you point your finger at others, the remaining four are pointing right back at you. It is always easier to blame others for being difficult but it is important we also check ourselves. A good way to get along with people as a leader is to operate more as a relational leader than a positional one. When you get to know your team members individually and you have a relationship with them, they are more inclined to get along and go with you. I heard this quote a long time ago that "Rules + Regulations - Relationships = Rebellion + Resentment." All that said and done, it is important as a leader you know there are different types of difficult people, and no cap fits all when seeking a resolution. Your response as a leader is key to seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. When you change your response, you'll change your life.

When confronted with a difficult situation, you can respond in the following ways - physical, verbal and mental. Your ability to manage each factor will help you during tough situations. When someone gets you mad, what do you do? You can choose to respond at that time, which i doubt will help matters, or you can walk away (physical response) to calm down and think things through (mental response) and finally respond (verbal response) . When you respond verbally, it is key that you do not blame the party, but seek how to solve the situation. When you cannot walk away, I have noticed that taking deep breaths will help dissipate your anger. An effective leader acts more like a thermostart rather than a thermometer. Your ability to manage your physical, verbal and mental response will help you in getting a resolution with difficult people. Having a negative response to a bad situation is equally as bad as creating it in the first place. When I was a lot younger and wanted to set things right, I discovered that people focused more on my response to the problem than what caused the situation itself. I was really frustrated by this and I learned the importance of responding appropriately to tough situations. You can't change anyone but you can control how you react to situations.

Remember that when you control  how you respond - physically, emotionally and verbally, you can turn a difficult situation around and get the difficult person on your corner.

Like what you read? Join my blog community and share it with your friends.