Tuesday, December 31, 2013

HappY New Year!


Thank you for all your support and encouragement! I'll keep doing my best to keep you updated with messages and stories that will bring about a turning point in your 2014 Journey. Watch out for 2014, it is going to be better than ever! I wish you a prosperous year and may all your dreams come true.

Monday, December 30, 2013

Why You Should Stop Recycling in 2014


                                           

I recently moved to Oregon from California and as many would imagine, the weather was a big concern moving here. Few weeks in, I am actually enjoying the Portlandia experience. I had absorbed a lot of sunshine from California that will keep me going for a while. As a former graduate student in California, we had to manage the resources we had but moving into a new place necessitated we get a few things we could afford, one of which was a sofa. I was attached to the old one but we did not have much room to keep it, so we eventually donated it ( a form of recycling). My sofa had found a new home. Recycling can be beautiful because it ensures sustainability, conserves resources and eliminates waste. This is great when we think of natural resources, products or material items. Recycling on another note has prevented a lot of people from enjoying the new because they keep recycling old hurts, negative experiences and grudges in their minds. The problem with this is that it leads to emotional congestion.  These results in lack of productivity with symptoms such as frustration, depression, low self-worth and esteem, pessimism, and the whole nine yards. Just like I had to let go of my old sofa to create room for the new, we need to bring closure to the wounds we have been recycling for a very long time. It’s time to let it go if we want to enjoy the new. Not the basement or any other storage place, let it go.


If you’ve ever put in batteries into a remote control or any gadget, the manufacturers often advice not to mix old batteries with new ones in order to get optimum performance. Similarly, harboring the past contaminates the future. For example, imagine seeing a dead fly in your glass of water. You don’t recycle it, you eliminate it.  If you truly want to have a new year and not take any excess baggage with you from the past, then you have to have look within and ask yourself, “What do I have to stop recycling in my life? What are the things I need to have closure on? Who are the people I need to forgive or give a second chance. Who are the people in my life I have to say goodbye to? I know you may have attachments to the past because you have worked so hard and invested a ton, but you never know what you may be missing until the new arrives. I hope you stop recycling the past in 2014 and start the New Year with fresh rigor and expectation.

Friday, December 20, 2013

The Number One Thing You Must Never Give Away



I am sure you are wondering what the number one  thing you must never give away is. I'll go straight to the point. Self esteem/confidence/worth is the number one thing you must never give away. For example, if the only time you ever feel good about yourself is when someone pays you a compliment then you have let other person determine how you feel and how your day will go. You do not need anyone's permission to be yourself. You are destined for great things. You are a star and the number one thing that stars do is shine! No one can make you feel inferior without your permission. The way you see yourself comes largely from your identity. The good news is that identities are never written in ink. The day you discover that is the day you become free. Do not let your past experiences or background be a set back for you, rather let it set you up for bigger and better things. President Mandela did not let what other people's opinion of him crush his dream of seeing a free and united South Africa.  

What's your foundation? The strength of a building is dependent on its foundation. If the foundation is weak, the house will not stand when the storm comes. Where do you derive your identity from? Remember beauty will fade, a good degree or family name does not solve all life's problems. There are three things that will last forever; Faith, Hope & Love. The greatest of these is love. Mandela fought for it and he will forever be remembered.

Saturday, December 14, 2013

What to let go Before 2014




      Driving and looking through the rear mirror will only result in anyone having an accident. You can't dream of a better future clinging to the past. So, it is imperative to let go of anything that maybe holding you back. A 100 m  sprint athlete or swimmer understands the importance of eliminating unnecessary weights in order to achieve optimum performance. Similarly, if we want to achieve our life's best, we need to get rid of any weights that easily entangles us. In life everyones journey is different but the following are weights that easily slow us down and prevent us from becoming our best:
Hurts & Bitterness - Except you exit the planet, people will hurt you, especially the ones you love the most. offenses are inevitable but carrying them is a choice. Holding grudges only keeps you within a cell while the offender roams free. You can choose to do something about it. Forgive and let go. Do not spend endless time talking about those painful issues, you only set yourself up to relive the negative experiences. Rather,  talk about your expectations.
Toxic Relationships -   It is important to periodically scan the relationships in your life. Some people in your life are like heavy weights that retard your progress. There is no point keeping them on, let them go. ( I am assuming you've had a chat with this people in your life but seems they are finding it impossible to change their spots).
Closet: Time to wander through your closet and give out clothes or any other items that you have not worn in a year.
Procrastination -  Do your words have any meaning or value to them? Do you say what you mean and mean what you say? let go of any lazy habits that prevent from keeping your most priced possession ( your words)
Weight - Health is wealth. Put on your running or dancing shoes and do some exercise. You will be amazed how refreshed you feel and this would inevitably turn on your creative side.
Pride: Pride is like baggage drop it. If you need help ask for it. Someone has the solution to your questions and vice versa. There is no need to reinvent the wheel. 

Thursday, October 24, 2013

How to Prevent a Relationship Shutdown




Communication is the life blood of any relationship, once communication stops, your relationship begins to deteriorate. When you want to turn off your computer you are given the options - Standby, Turn off and Restart. These options are very similar to the options we have when we encounter difficulties in our personal and professional relationships. Each of these options have their consequences, but one that may be overlooked is the  cancel option.  This option enables you to think about the consequences of your action or inaction before you take a rash decision.   A good example of a "Turn Off" action is the recent US government shutdown. The House of Congress and the White House focused more on their differences and that resulted in a communication breakdown and resulted in almost a million people suffering for the poor decisions of their leaders. The divorce rate in America is about 50% and companies spend billions every year on managing conflict. It is no secret that your ability to get along with people you would rather avoid is critical to your success in both your personal and professional lives. When you meet people you like, you focus more on what you have in common. For those you would rather avoid, you tend to focus on your differences.  To stay connected with others, we have to train ourselves to focus on the good in others. I agree it may be difficult locating bright spots in some people, but if you find it, it will make your life a lot easier.

Depending on your personality, you will probably respond to tense situations differently. If your goal is to prevent your relationship from shutting down, it is important that you do not sweep situations under the carpet. Ignoring the elephant in the room will not make it go away, in fact, the elephant will destroy more things the longer its left wondering around. I hear you say, "I do not like confrontation" but the truth is, whatever you are unwillingly to confront never goes away. Mediums such as email, telephone can easily be escape routes but are more easily misinterpreted. A face to face, heart to heart conversation still works wonders. Remember you can prevent a shut down in your relationships by both sides compromising and not destroying it by finger pointing. 

Monday, October 21, 2013

Stop Worrying About What Other People Think About You!


I used to worry a lot about other people's opinion about me and it resulted in me being a people pleaser though I remained unhappy. My turning point came when I discovered that in order to have any healthy and striving relationship, I had to be myself and more importantly, I had to accept my individuality and celebrate my originality. Many times when you try to please everyone, you end up pleasing no one. It is no secret that people are more interested in themselves and their issues rather than thinking about others. It is also unwise to spend more time on a critic than a friend.  If you have to act in a certain way or be someone else in other to fit into a group or get a friend then its not worth your time and effort. There are people out there who appreciate and see your uniqueness. Its not your responsibility to convince anyone to see the gem in you. 

Life is short, don't waste time worrying about what people think of you. Hold on to the ones that care, in the end they will be the only ones there. That said,  A lot of people these days are unwilling to accept feedback and forget that feedback is vital for growth in any relationship. Worry about your character and not your reputation, because your character is who you are, and your reputation is only what people think of you. 

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Monday, October 14, 2013

Its a New Day!


Its time to stop complaining about what could have been or what you had achieved in the past. There is no present without a past. Champions use their pasts as stepping stones to achieve their goals. No one can determine your future but you. It may be true that life may have dealt you the wrong set of cards but you can choose how you respond. Why don't you choose to start afresh. You may not be able to rewrite the past but you can rewrite the future.  Where there is a way, there is a will. You can do it!

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

How to Ace The Fall Quarter


Summer is over and Fall quarter is already seeming overwhelming. If you are like me, you may need a mental transition to get back into the groove of things. Fall offers so many distractions and opportunities to make things right again. I am sure some of you have realized that though you did not require much study during high school, college is an equalizer. The people who get A's are not necessary the best and brightest, but the ones who are prepared to pay due diligence and start the quarter right from day one. If you are ready to have a great  and fulfilling quarter, then I'll invite you to read on. To have a great quarter you can do the following:

  1. Determine what your goals for the quarter are.  Write down your academic, relationship goals, sports, social and spiritual goals
  2. Now determine the ones that are most important to you. I am guessing academics should be number one. You can list your priorities in the following order. - Highly Important & Urgent - Highly Important & Not Urgent, - Low Importance & Urgent, - Low Importance & Not Urgent. Your objective is to accomplish all the highly important things first before you move to the ones that have low importance. Proper time management is what separates the A students from the rest. 
  3. Write down a daily plain on how you are going to achieve your goals for the above
  4. It is important to make friends and have social activities but it is crucial that you understand yourself and know how much you can handle. Don't compare yourself with others, your friends may be able to be in 10 different groups, party, be in relationships and yet still get A's.
  5. Association is key to inspiration. After you have determined where you want to go with your quarter, it is important you find a team of friends that will help you stay on track. When I wanted to improve my grades while in college, I found a group of people who where already where I wanted to be. These people had a positive influence in my life and they eventually became dear friends of mine. If you want to get better, surround yourself with smarter people. If this is going to work, you have to see yourself as a contributor to the group and not just an observer or drainer.
  6. Get a mentor:  Look for people who can be of help such as faculty, TA's & older students. In choosing a mentor, choose someone you have a connection with and is willingly to help.Your mentors can help you through personal stuff and ensure you are fully engaged in school 
  7. Play hard:  if you have worked hard then you need to play hard in order not to burn out.
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Thursday, September 26, 2013

Fight or Flight



When pushed to our limits we either fight or fly. It is always easier to fly and escape from the situation. If you and I want to make a difference in this tough world, we have to develop a thick skin. Tough times never last but tough people do. You can handle much more than you think you can. If you want to be a winner then you must practice winning by learning not to quit on your dreams but perserve through the storms. Fighting also requires knowing when to fly - if your life is danger, drop all else and run.  That is wisdom!

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

There is Always a Way


Everyone of us will go through challenging times at some point in our lives. We can either surrender to our circumstances or keep hoping and believing that a door will open if we keep pressing on. Our resolve and belief that things will eventually work out is what separates victors from victims. It takes the hammer of persistence to drive in the nails of success. The world always makes room for a person who knows where they are going. Remember that it always seems darkest before dawn, so keep keeping on. Winners never quit and quitters never win. You are a winner!

Saturday, August 24, 2013

How to Apologize


How many times have your intentions being misunderstood by others and led to  anger, grudges and even broken relationships. I have been on that path before and this prompted me to investigate the proper way to apologize. Even the best communicators and well mannered people could offend others without realizing it. It is important that we learn the art of a good apology and hopefully that helps to restore and strengthen both or personal and business relationships. A good apology requires work because you have to prepare for the apology and hopefully you get a positive response from the other person.

According to Aaron Lazare, former dean and professor of psychiatry at the University of Massachusetts Medical School and author of the book on Apology, a good apology should contain the following:
  1. An acknowledgement of the offense
  2. An explanation of your actions
  3. An expression of remorse
  4. Some sort of reparation
Lazare says, " If you admit responsibility but don't say you regret anything, then you are justifying your actions. You are saying, Yes I did it but heres why. If you admit regret but not responsibility, thats an excuse." It is important that a good apology indicates ownership of what happened and also clear in admitting regret for what happened.  Of course a good apology has to have a heart to it and not just mechanical. According to Lazare, "I'm sorry if you got offended", " I'm sorry-ish" - are not apologies. Hugging it out or giving a hi five should only be suggested by the offending party.  Crying it out may be a little too much. Remember to maintain eye contact, avoid smiling so as not to water down what you are trying to do.

Giving someone a heartfelt  apology is an attribute of the strong and not of weaklings. It is a good and honorable thing to do. It has the power to restore broken relationships and make them stronger. Would you rather loose your pride or a great relationship? Do the right thing. The perfect time is now.

Thursday, August 15, 2013

How an Introvert Can Be Happier... (2)

This a follow up from part 1

You might wonder if acting against your natural tendencies will wear you out eventually? Dr Zelenski said, " We didn't find a lot of evidence for the idea that acting like an extrovert will wear out introverts. However we found that acting like introverts wore out extroverts".  Prof Brian Little, a psychology professor at Cambridge, University in the United Kingdom, disagrees with Dr Zelenski's findings. He believes that acting out of character can take a psychological toll on the nervous and immune systems. He believes that an introvert who often has to engage in extroverted behavior, such as making speeches, in order to advance his work. Afterward, Dr little says he often needs to emotionally recharge.

Some researchers believe that genetics also plays a factor why people act the way they do. Luke Smilie, a senior lecturer of psychology at the university of Melbourne in Australia, brings in a different perspective and notes that most studies about introverts and extroverts take place in the US and other western countries where extroversion is often regarded to be valuable. Luke says, " Would you observe the same effects in cultures that didn't have this sort of value placed on being outgoing and assertive and so forth? he said   

Susan Cain, a corporate lawyer and the author of the book,"Quiet: the power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking," which argues that introverts are unfairly maligned. Rather than trying to to get introverts to act more extroverted, she argues that society should be drawing on their natural strengths, which can include being a good listener and working creatively. 

Thursday, August 1, 2013

How an Introvert Can Be Happier: Act Like ...(1)



On my flight from Atlanta, I saw an interesting article in the Wall Street Journal, titled, "How an Introvert Can Be Happier: Act Like an Extrovert". Below is an excerpt from the article.

Extroverts, those outgoing, gregarious types who wear their personalities on their sleeve, are generally happier, studies show. Some research also has found that introverts , who are more withdrawn in nature, will feel a greater sense of happiness if they act extroverted. Experts are not entirely sure why acting like extroverts makes people feel better. One theory is that being a talkative and engaging influences how people respond to you, especially if that response is positive. some studies have shown that extroverts are more motivated than introverts. Researchers believe this is due in part to extroverts greater sensitivity to dopamine, a neurotransmitter that plays a big role in behavior driven rewards. Others speculate that people get more satisfaction when they express their core opinions. "If you are introverted and act extroverted, you will feel happier. It doesn't matter who you are, it's all about what you do." said William Fleeson, a psychology professor at Wake forest University in Winston Salem, N.C.

Mr Powell disagrees with research findings that extroverts are happier and more motivated. Mr powell says that his source of happiness include learning and reading a good book. " I may not share my happiness as willingly as other people...but I consider myself just as happy  and I'm extremely motivated to learn  and grow as an individual."

So why don't introverts act like extroverts more often? John Zelenski a psychologist at Carleton University in Ottawa, and fellow researchers probed that question. Their findings "Introverts kind of underestimate how much fun it will be to act extroverted.

What do you think about the article about introverts needing to act like extroverts? Do extroverts ever need to act like introverts in order to be more balanced individuals?

Watch out for part 2!


Wednesday, July 24, 2013

If...


If you had only a day left on earth, what would you do?

If you were to be recognized for one thing, what would it be?

If you could be granted one thing in life except money,  what would it be?

If you were to decide how to spend your last day, what would you do?

If you could only do one thing your entire life, what would you do?

If you could invent anything that currently doesn't exist, what would it be?

If you could relive a day in the past, what day would that be?

If you could say only one word, what would you say?

If you had to sacrifice your life for one thing, what would it be?

The quality of the questions we ask ourselves determine the quality of life we live. While asking the right questions is only a start, we should do something about the answers we come up with. For example,"If you were to be recognized for one thing, what would it be?". I want to be known as someone who makes a positive difference in peoples lives. I want to be known as someone who adds value - a nutrient and not a weed. I am sure many you have the same aspirations, but what are you doing about it. Before you think of changing the world, whose world are you making a difference in right now- your family, neighbors, co-workers or even strangers?  Little drops of water is what makes an ocean. Think globally but act locally. According to Thomas Edison, Success is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. There is never a perfect time or place to start, the best time is now. 

There are some If questions that are not worth asking because there is nothing  you can do about them. For such, you need to pray this out loud - God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.. If questions can be powerful, they help bring to light what we value most. We produce results, when we focus on the things that matter most to us. The time to act is now, lets go.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Lessons from the Lorax


The Lorax said," Unless someone like you cares an awful lot, nothing is going to get better. Its not ." Jimmy Johnson said,  "The difference between the ordinary and the extraordinary is the little extra". This means you can not afford to live life on neutral and coast from day to day. If you want to make a difference, you've got to find something you are crazy or mad about. What do I mean? You can be crazy enough about something that it keeps you going during the day, and keeps you up at night. Steve jobs was crazy about making computers and even sold some of his possessions to make his dream a reality. When you find your cause, sacrifice is inevitable. The other option is, you are so mad about something and you have got to change it. For example, Nelson Mandela was mad about the injustice experienced by his people during the apartheid years in South Africa. He tried to make a difference by speaking out and this landed him in jail for 27 years. The good news is - Mandela's cross was his crown. Nelson Mandela is a legend and a history maker today.

What are you passionate about? What are you mad about? Whats that childhood dream that never seems to go away? What are you going to do about it? Myles Munroe said the richest place on earth is the grave. It has within it dreams that were never fulfilled. There are too many people hoping and longing for change, and excepting someone somewhere will bring it to them. Lets wake up and listen to Ghandi who said, "Be the change you want to be in the world." Unless someone cares a whole lot about something, nothing really changes. So, show you care through your actions and not just by your intentions. 

It is never to late to make a difference. You are a gift to this generation.  You are not an accident. You matter, let it count!

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

How to Make an Impact in Your World


I was watching Nik Wallenda make history by working across the Grand Canyon on a tight rope. I was surprised he wore just a tee shirt and jeans and not some aerodynamic apparel. I thought Nik was crazy because he had no safety nets under him incase something happened. The weather condition could have been better but he was determined to walk the tight rope. I couldn't have taken that risk for a million dollars. I was pondering what could have made him risk everything including the ones he loved the most (family). I realized that like Nik, if anyone of us wants to make an impact in our world, we need to have the following boxes ticked.
  1. Follow your passion - Nik knew he always wanted to be a tight rope professional since he was two years old. He came from a family of tight rope walkers and that gave him a head start.  
  2. Invest in your passion by starting small and early -  Nik didn't start  tight rope climbing working  across the Grand Canyon, he grew into that after streams of other successes. Similarly, it is never to early to invest in your passion if you have discovered what you want to do.  Nik said he started training for his passion since he was two. Michael Jackson started practicing for show biz at Five, Tiger woods was introduced to golf before he was Two years-old, Gabby Douglas went off to a gymnastics school at eight years of age
  3. Take risks - It is easier to take risks if its for something you love to do. I am sure you have heard about people who have been beaten by sharks while surfing and end up going back to surf when they have recovered. Those who achieve greatness do not have a plan B. They give it everything they have got. Steve Jobs sold what he had to start the Apple. When you love what you do, you will live your dreams. 
  4. Achievement- Your passion, investment and love for what you do will give you confidence and make you achieve greater
  5. Focus - Nik could not afford to be distracted while on that rope. He focused on his focus and later became the focus. If you are going to make an impact, you have to ignore the noise and distractions around you. Distractions can come in the form of chasing too many good ideas at the same time. Focus on one and the success of that will birth others.
  6. Conceive - Nik had seen himself walk that rope in his mind several times. The actual day was just a dress rehearsal of what he had achieved in his mind. Your mental picture will determine your actual future
  7. Believe - If you think you can, you are right. If you think you can't, you are also right. To make an impact in your world, you must believe in yourself and your abilities or else, no one will.

Monday, June 24, 2013

A New Day

If you think you can keep hurts within you and live a perfectly happy and healthy life, then you may need to think again. Hurts are like cancer that eventually eat into the fabric of every area of our lives. It often starts as something small but it eventually grows to become an elephant and it controls you. So letting go of hurts is actually doing yourself a favor.

 Too many times many of us end up complaining about how things could have been if  x or y had happened. There is nothing we can do about the past so lets get over it. How you ask? Take responsibility for your happiness, learn from your mistakes,  forgive yourself and any other person who may be involved and then move on. Give yourself a gift by choosing to rewrite the future. Let today be a turning point and mark a new beginning in your life. No more excuses, complains or justifications. Decide that the rest of your life is going to be the best of your life. Thats a decision only you can make and it is worth making.









Saturday, June 8, 2013

How to Eat an Elephant

I remember when I chose to have a healthier life style and started going to the gym. I was very discouraged because I felt my efforts were not proportional to my results and so I gave up several times. I later realized that the problem was my motive, I was looking for a quick fix and when that didn't happen, I jumped ship. I knew that in order to be the person I wanted to be, I had to focus more on the journey than the destination. I focused on changing my health habits a day at a time and I made small steps that were going to be a life style for me. I am not where I want to be but thank God, I am far from where I used to be. I was driving the change I wanted to be and not allowing the change I wanted to see overwhelm me.

Like anything else, change has to be taken one step at a time. The way to eat an elephant is one piece at a time or it seems like a mission impossible. Have the end in mind but be prepared to take  one step at a time to get there

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Monday, June 3, 2013

A Tale of True Friendship



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Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Not an Option


Recently I blogged about the newly crowned American Idol, Candice Glower. During one of her auditions Simon Cowell told her that at best she would be a lounge singer and sing in a hotel lobby and people will eat peanuts and turn their heads. Unlike many of us, Candice refused to let Simon's perception of her define who she was and who she was capable of  becoming. For Candice, failure was not an option and that kept her coming over and over still she won. I dare to say that when you find something you believe in and failure is not an option,  you have found what will you give your life meaning and significanse. You will cross seven oceans and climb fountains to get it. It is your heartbeat. If you are unwillingly to make sacrifices to get your dream, then you may want to check that you are following the right one. The joy that lies ahead is what gives you the motivation to fight for your dream. It keeps you late at night and pushes you to move on when others laugh and ridicule you. There are to many people who settle for less because they buckle under pressure. Pressure  reveals who you are during the tough times. Ask anyone who has achieved any meaningful success, and they will tell you so many more challenges they faced before reaching their goals. 

I do not know what you are going through but you cannot afford to quit. You may feel knocked out and that is okay, but you need to get up and try one more time. Silver and gold have to be refined through the furnace to become purer. What doesn't kill you will make you stronger. You have come too far to  go back now. The bend of a road is not the end of a road. You are not in this world to be a spectator, you are in it to enjoy, live and win it. You have a great future ahead of you and it is worth fighting for. Winners never quit, You are a one.

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Monday, May 27, 2013

Sign Me Up


Today we celebrate our fallen heroes who sacrificed their lives to give us a safer and better future.  Like us, they  had parents, dreams, children, spouses and so many  unfulfilled dreams  These brave men and women gave it all up and walked their talk. Our fallen heros fought to ensure that we enjoy the freedom we have today. They had a dream bigger than themselves and they lived it. I believe memorial day is a reminder to us that we will be remembered for the problems we help solve or the ones we create.  Not everyone of us can or will join the army, but lets look around us, there are many wars that need to be won - poverty, HIV, cancer, autism, human trafficking, racism,   discrimination, corruption, etc. Our fallen heros did not look at problems and leave it for others, they owned and tried to solve it. Their golden words were "sign me up". So, what cause are you passionate about? What are you going to do about it? You have waited long enough, why not make this memorial day memorable by "Signing up".

Happy memorial day everyone!

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Saturday, May 18, 2013

How Bad Do You Want It?


I came across a story that captured my attention the other day. It was a story of Candice Glower, who recently became the Season 12 American Idol winner. Candice had auditioned for the show three times before finally winning the golden crown. I was amazed by her determination despite all the emotional roller coaster she had experienced in past seasons. I did some soul searching and wondered how many times I had taken a rejection to mean a period, rather than a comma. I asked myself what was the line between been hopeful and reaching for your dreams or being delusional and realistic. I do not have the answers to these questions but using Candice as a case study, we can see that Candice did not let the opinions of other people become her reality. Candice was a phenomenal singer, she was not a wannabe, her gift was evident. So in a room full of equal talents  with one prize money, who wins? The best singer - thats relative, the person with the total package - probably, the most determined - this was Candice story, she wanted it badly and couldn't imagine having it any other way.  

 Candice has shown that it takes more than talent and hard work to succede. We need the hammer of persistence to drive in the nails of success. The world always makes room for a person who knows where they are going. I submit to you that if you have the talent and want something bad enough, it will eventually happen. It may not happen the first time but just hang on.

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Saturday, May 11, 2013

Paradox of Time by George Carlin




The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness. 

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. 

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. 

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less. 

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete. 

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Warren Buffett's Advice on How to Be Happy: Get Turned On!

Warren Buffett has some advice for young people on how to be happy, and it has nothing to do with having billions of dollars.
During today's Berkshire Hathaway annualshareholders meeting in Omaha, 82-year-old Buffett and his 89-year-old business partner Charlie Munger were asked by a 30-year-old what advice they would give if they could communicate with themselves when they were 50 years younger.

Here's their response:
MUNGER: We're basically so old-fashioned that we're boringly trite. We think you ought to keep plugging along, and stay rational, and stay energetic. Just all the old virtues still work.
BUFFETT: But find what turns you on.
MUNGER: Yeah, you have to work where you're turned on. I don't know about Warren, but I've never succeeded to any great extent in something I didn't like doing.
BUFFETT: Charlie and I both started in the same grocery store and neither one of us are in the grocery business. 
MUNGER: We were not going to be promoted either, even though you had the family name. (Laughter.)
BUFFETT: My grandfather was right, too. If you're lucky, and Charlie and I were lucky in this respect. Well, we were lucky to be in this country to start with. But we found things we like to do very early in life and then we pushed very hard in doing those thing. But we were enjoying it while we did it. We had had so much fun running Berkshire it's almost sinful. But we were lucky. My dad happened to be in a business (he was a stockbroker) that he didn't find very interesting but I found very interesting. So when I would go down on Saturday there were a lot of books to read. You know, it just flowed from a very early age. And Charlie found ...
MUNGER: You've found a way to atone for your sins for having so much fun, you're giving all the money back .
BUFFETT: Yeah, but you give it all back whether you want to or not in the end. (Laughter.)
Culled from CNBC

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

What are you saying?


Many times kindest words are the mean words left unsaid. I am sure it does not come as a surprise  that many of us tend to remember the ugly words people have spoken to us and forget all the good ones. Words are powerful though they are like eggs,  once broken it cannot be put back together. It is better not to say anything in anger. Many people have lost significant relationships just because they spoke in the heat of the moment. Another extreme is not saying anything and bottling your emotions in. This is not healthy and will eventually lead to a break down in communication. If you are angry, take a walk, go the gym, change environment and think things through before communicating. If you have a tendency to bottle things up, speak up during good times and not while angry. Many people take the route of speaking with a third party, but this can also do more harm than good, if you do not eventually express yourself to the concerned party.
Your words can make or break, so speak responsibly.

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Stop Selling Damaged Goods!



I am thinking about changing my old phone and am undecided between the Samsung Galaxy and the I-Phone. The Ad wars on TV is not really helping because of the bias information involved. One thing  that is clear is that each of these phone companies believe their products are the best and  market their strengths and uniquenesses. There is no doubt that Samsung and Apple products are good, but they are not perfect. I can't imagine buying a product if the sales associate tells me everything that is wrong about it. Likewise, it is important that we do not go around advertising our negatives and insecurities. A way we do this is based on how we think. If you believe you are not good enough or up to no good, there are certain opportunities, places or people you will not pursue.

I am not advocating we mislead or cover up our weaknesses, rather, discover what you are good at and strategically place yourself in environments and relationships that celebrate and value your uniqueness. This is where you will feel most valued and be most productive. If you are working with a manager who doesn't value your natural abilities, work always seems like a chore, but if you work with a manager that sees your assets as a benefit to the organization, you always want to be and give out your best. Too many times we focus on areas that we want to change in our lives and under value our star qualities, it is time to have a paradigm shift. If you are in an environment that makes you feel that you are average and probably doing you a favor, then it may be time to jump ship. You are not average, you are smart, beautiful, funny, you are simply the best. Someone/organization out there will see these qualities in you. You just need to discover them. Live from your power and not from your brokenness.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Before You Quit


Quitting like winning is a skill,  which ever one you exercise more is what develops and influences your choices. Tough times never last but tough people do. Anyone can start but only the strong finish. It takes the hammer of persistence to drive in the nails of success. Keep keeping on, you've got what it takes. 

Friday, April 26, 2013

W's of Life


My favorite W is "why". I learned a long time ago that the person who knows what about a problem gets a job, but the person who knows why it is done becomes the boss. It is important that we know why we and others do the things they do in order to make a difference and have an impact in your circle of influence. Many people saw an apple drop from a tree but it was Isaac Newton that asked why? His curiosity led to the Newtons laws of motion. Identifying a problem is never good enough, you have it own it and solve it. The questions you ask (why) and the actions you take can lead to a turning point tomorrow.

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Monday, April 22, 2013

How to have an Amazing Personality!

There it is Folks! Life  is a journey and to get to your destination, you need to take one step at a time. Which of these characteristics are you going to start working on this week? No excuses, just do it!

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Wednesday, April 17, 2013

There is No Progress Without Change (2)





Continued from previous post

How you react to getting scooped says a lot about you as a student, scientist, and person. Some people leave their group. Some leave grad school altogether, hoping to find something less stressful. People might overreact to getting scooped whether it was their fault or not. The trick is to make sure your getting scooped wasn’t your fault. Those who are at risk of getting scooped must always be one step ahead of the game: thinking of new reactions, different approaches, more efficient techniques. If they do not constantly adapt, they may get scooped, and it will be because of their laziness. They will be forced to change after the fact. And who’s to say the change they make will be a good one? They may end up leaving school. What a waste.

Sadly, I can’t give you any good examples of people changing on their own because I don’t feel comfortable calling people out. And those people are few and far between anyway. There are many more who have been forced to change out of necessity, myself included. Now, I didn’t get scooped (although it would have been my fault if I did) and I didn’t quit grad school, but have had to scramble to pick up the slack that my laziness over the past three years left behind. I am in my fourth year and have published one review paper. I have a handful of papers to write still and I am trying to pull it all together so I can graduate with my wife. If I was a more diligent student and better scientist, I know I would be having a much easier time right now.
But alas, I have adapted. I am doing much better now and I recognize the difference in my work now compared to when I was lazier. Even while writing this, it is four in the morning and I am running experiments. I wish I could be at home with my wife and dogs, but I’m doing this because I am a better scientist and I know I am ahead of the game. So if I get scooped, I know it won’t be my fault. Because I am always making small changes everyday to make sure I don’t fall behind or get into a rut.

So I urge you to make changes, even if you don’t want to. Be sure to not put yourself in a position to get scooped, no matter what your profession is at the moment. And if you still get scooped, make sure you did everything in your power so that it wasn’t your fault. Those who make mistakes need to learn from our mistakes, just as I did. But, we should be striving to not make those mistakes. And for goodness sake, make a full stop at stop signs.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

There is No Progress Without Change (1)




Hello dear friends,

I am pleased to introduce you to my friend, Sean, my guest blog contributor today. Sean has a passion for writing and has a unique way of inspring his audience. Enjoy! 

Admit it. You hate change. It’s ok. As humans, it is our natural instinct to resist change. We resist, usually, until a change is forced upon us and we must adapt. That jerk on the road will keep rolling through stop signs until they are pulled over and given a hefty little ticket, forcing them to change. Or at least we hope they will consider modifying their driving habits. We aren’t really flawed in this way. It’s our own personal version of evolution. The environment forces us to adapt. It can also be easily related to basic physics. A body at rest will tend to stay at rest and a body in motion will tend to stay in motion, unless acted upon by an outside force. Of course, wouldn’t we rather have it not come to the point when that outside force pulls us over and gives us a citation, advising us to change?

The truth is we all would love to change certain things in our lives, right? Better job, better pay, nicer car, place to live, etc. But we want all those things to just come, no sweat off our backs. It’s a nice dream, but it’s stupid. We cannot expect to have these things given to us without changing something about ourselves. We have to put the work in. It’s the first law of thermodynamics. This is all science. Those who don’t see this as true are touched in the head. After all, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Yes, that was Einstein. Science. The point here is that the only sane thing for us to do as human beings is to embrace change. Things won’t get better unless you make them better. If we initiate the necessary changes in ourselves, we can better ourselves and avoid the horrible feelings associated with the changes that are forced upon us by our environment.

I am a chemistry graduate student, so I get to see my colleagues succeed and fail all of the time. And while I would prefer my friends to continuously do well, it’s always interesting to see how they deal with disappointment and face challenges. One of the most devastating things that can happen to a scientist is being scooped. If you had been working on a project for a long time and brought it to completion, only to have an opposing lab publish their identical results days before you submit your project, you have been scooped. All that work down the tubes.

Stay tuned for part 2 tomorrow!