Many of us are in a constant search for the “right” person, place, or thing and think when we get him, her, or it all will be well with us. However, the truth is, no one person or thing can meet all our needs and solve all our problems. That is far too heavy a load for any one person to carry. This expectation may have ruined many potential relationships because they did not fit our picture of “The One.”
It is important that we let people care for us in the areas where they naturally excel and not where we expect their support. Having this mind- set will save us from this endless search and will open our hearts to let a variety of people be a blessing to us and be blessed by us, thus relieving the stress or burden on any one person.
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First, I just wanted to let you know that I found myself subconciously reading this to myself in your voice! Second, I could not agree with you more on this topic. So many relationships, whether they be friendships or marriages, falter on the notion that your partner does not meet all of the criteria of "the one." When you expect your partner to be everything you have ever wanted in one person, you have put the weight of the world on his or her shoulders, especially if they love you deeply and try hard to be that person. If those unrealistic expectations are left unmet, one party feels let down while the other feels inadequate in their ability to be the "right one."
ReplyDeleteOf course every relationship is different, and by all means you should not falter on finding someone who makes you happy, but remember that you can manufacture your own happiness. If you find a kind, loving, and genuinely compassionate person, then focus on what they have to offer rather than their supposed deficiencies. Remember the ever so true cliche nobody is perfect, including yourseld. Put yourself in your partner's shoes and imagine the pressure you would face if the expectations fell upon you instead.
Thanks for the inspiring words.
Your friend and brother,
Tomas