Fail Forward but Look Backward

No one wants to fail. I grew up hearing, "Success has many fathers but failure is an orphan". I don't know anyone who wants to be an orphan, so we do anything within our power not to taste failure even if that means living a mediocre life. Growing up, I have learned that failure is an orphan only when you stop learning. A Nigerian proverb says, "When a young man falls, he looks forward, but when an old man falls, he looks backward". The old man looks backward to find out what caused him to fall and prevents that from happening again. The young person just gets up  and walks away, and you can imagine what would happen. Your plans may have failed, but you have gained a lesson that only those experiences could have taught you. Thomas Edison said "He discovered 9,999 ways in which a light bulb did not work". Everyone one of us will miss the mark at some point in our lives, but the important thing is the direction our experiences take us? Do you join a pity party and make excuses or do you ask yourself "what can i learn from these".

Many people forget that Coke was discovered by serendipity by an Atlanta Pharmacist, John Pemberton, who was trying to make a cure for headaches. Penicillin was discovered by a scientist, Alexander Fleming, who forgot to clean his culture plates before he went on vacation. Failing does not make you a failure, all great men have failed in their life times and  used those experiences as turning points in their lives. It doesn't matter how many times you fall down, but how many times you get up and learned from each fall. Michael Jordan, a basket legend of our time says it best, " I have failed over and over in my life and that's why I succeed. You have lived in regret for too long, its time to close that chapter and move on. Your best days are ahead of you; just believe!!!

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To Change the world..Start with Yourself

The following was inscribed on the tomb of an Anglican Bishop (A.D. 1100)

When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits
I dreamed of changing the world
As I grew older and wiser, I discovered the world would not change
So I shortened my sights somewhat and
decided to change only my country
But it, too, seemed immovable

As I grew into my twilight years,
In one last desperate attempt,
I settled for changing only my family,
those closest to me , but alas,
they would have none of it
And now I lie on my deathbed, I suddenly realize:
If I had only changed myself first,
then by example, I would have changed my family
From their inspiration and encouragement,
I would have been able to better my country and,
who knows, I may have changed the world
                                            (Anonymous)

You want to change the world? Start by changing yourself; this is my plan.

Pope Francis: Lessons for Beyonce

I like Beyonce as a person. She works very hard and has climbed the ladder of success. Recently, I heard the new sound track of Beyonce, where she told b____ to bow down to her. Some called it artistic expression and others are mad about it. I believe great leaders/role models should always be mindful of how their communication is been received by their audience. The word bow down is heavy and should not be taken casually. Healthy relationships are established when people respect and love each other, and that is not a one-way street. A lady should only bow to a man that is bowed himself. You cannot bow and let yourself be abused or taken advantage off. 

If we look at great influencers of our time, Mother Theresa, Nelson Mandela, Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, Steve Jobs, John Maxwell, and Oprah, all these people have reached the pinnacles of their careers, but none of them have called their audience to bow down to them. Barak Obama, gets flack all the time and some people believe he was not born in America. He is not asking anyone to bow to him to assert his office. Pope Francis, leader of 1.3 billion Catholics worldwide, was seen washing the feet of prisoners. A leader’s mission is to lift up other people and not pull them down. The greatest hero of all time - Jesus, said, “ He who wants to be a leader amongst you must first be the servant.” Lions do not worry about the opinions of sheep but sheeps worry about the opinions of lions.  Beyonce has worked hard and deserves to succeed; I think she should focus more on empowering others.

Maybe I am reading to much into the lyrics, but words do matter.  Your words can make people bitter or better. I choose the latter.

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What Next?

The only constant thing in life is change. Change is unfamiliar territory, and most of us are uncomfortable with it. We prefer the familiar because it gives us a sense of security and control. The music industry is a good case study of change, and how it has affected our lives. Music players evolved from the workman to discman, mp3 players to the Ipod generation. Like Charles Darwin mentions, adapting to change and making it work for you, is a strategy of the strong. In our personal and professional lives, we are all going to go through periods of change. How we handle these times can make us better or bitter. When faced with uncertainty,  remember the words of Reinhold Niebuhr (edited), "God give me grace to be the change I want to see in the world, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference". Those who don't change with change get exchanged. Does that mean I change my core values with the times? As regards your beliefs stand like a rock, for everything else, flow with the tide.

Chase your Dreams

The only thing between you and your destiny is you. You can give excuses or results but not both.  If your strategy is to wait for others to discover you, then you may have to wait for eternity. If you want something, go for it period. While it may be true that the patient dog gets the fattest bone, it is also true that the fastest bird gets the fattest worm. So you may need to be flexible and change strategy depending on your circumstance. Either way, you need to take action. Do not listen to the voices of people around you, who tell you it can't be done. Remove the word impossible from your dictionary and give it a try. The Wright brothers refused to listen to their critics, that their plans of making a commercial airline would fail. President JFK was determined to get people on the moon. You never know until you give it a try. If the fear of failure keeps you from giving your dreams a chance, then you may never smell the scent of victory if it did work. Just do it!

Race, Races and Racism

In loving and healthy relationships, there is no unhealthy competition. Health relationships strive for a win-win environment. The absence of healthy relationships between people, communities and different races, creates an atmosphere of suspicion which is followed by resentment and rebellion. Different races can get along if they choose to let go of the past, forgive and forget, and treat everyone as individuals. This was what Nelson Mandela did in South Africa. No race should expect any other race to treat them in a particular way to feel special. We are all special and created equals. The foundation of any solid relationship has to be love, and love means trust. We have to get to know each other,  have an understanding of where people are coming from, and celebrate our diversity. This will help build communities that foster healthy relationships.

 What is Hate? Hate is judging a book by its cover. It is based on rules, perceptions, stereotypes and acting on them. Hate is making decisions based on assumptions. What is love? Love is opening a book and giving it a chance. Love grows, love is intentional. Be a lover and not a hater. We all have the seeds of love in us, all we have to do is water it.

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Celebrate Little Beginnings

Do not despise your days of little beginings, celebrate it.  Arnold Schwarzenegger started weight training at age 15 and at age 20, he won Mr Universe and from there, won Mr Olympia seven times.  Great people climb to the top, the journey is what makes their experiences special and they can pass their strategy to others. The problem comes when you and I compare ourselves to people who have succeeded and loose sight that they once struggled through the very things we are going through now. You don't have to be great to start but you have to start to be great. Facebook did not start with a billion members, that number keeps on growing. They had no clue it would get that big, but they still tried their idea anyway.  The road to success is always under construction. Learn to celebrate your little successes because their collection is what brings a turning point in your life. The only thing you cannot do is what you have not tried to do.  What idea have you been afraid to give a chance?  Your idea may be the next big thing, but you will never know until you act on it . Start now!

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Ain't Nobody Got Time For That

You can have excuses or results but not both. Excuses are meant to be kept and never given. It is time to take action and take responsibility for your life. What's going to be your excuse? Just do it.

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Making of a Champion

In life you do not always get what you want but what you negotiate.The road of a champion is always under construction. It is never about the destination but the journey.You cannot be giving excuses and be expecting change at the same time. There is a price champions pay. It is doing the little extra, and this makes them extraordinary.  Surround yourself with dreamers and doers, the believers and the thinkers, but most of all, surround yourself with those who see greatness in you, even when you dont see it yourself. Your greatest asset is your mind, guard it at all costs. As you think so you are. Think like a champion and act like a champion, you are one. It all starts in your mind.

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Mess 2 Message

Everyone of us is a work in construction. According to statistics, half of the people reading this blog are from a broken home. Some have grown up without having a father to care for them. Some have been abused, bullied and  gone through challenging situations. While we would rather not have these experiences, they are what makes us unique and the people we are today. Our past can make us or break us, the choice is ours. Did you know that LeBron James father was an ex-convict? He grew in less than diserable neighborhoods but he decided not to let his background put him on the ground. The poverty and pain he was exposed to became a  motivation to get a better life for himself and family.  His motivation came from his mess and that became his message. A story that inspires all today.

The largest room on earth is the room for improvement. Don't let your past become a reason to use a crutch on your journey. You can become better, you can have a new outlook on life. The only person between who you are now and who you want to be is you. Do you know that the broken are masters at mending? Your experiences can make a difference in peoples lives today. Quit focusing on yourself and have a broader perspective on life. Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in prison and had every right to be mad and seek justice. Instead, he pursued peace because of his dream of building a great country. He looked beyond his needs just to provide a future for another generation. You may need to let go of that pain inside, so that the greatness in you can be birth. A general is not without battles, testimonies come from tests and for every cross, there is a crown.

What experiences have you gone through that can help someone or prevent anyone from taking a wrong turn? If you can do this, It makes your experiences remarkable.

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