Speaking Your Team's Language

According to Nelson Mandela, "When you speak to a man in a language he understands, it goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart". Great leaders touch people's hearts before they ask for their hands. Every team has a language and a good leader has to be able to speak the language of the team in order to be very productive. While english may be the communication medium at your workplace, it should not be the only language your team speaks. A team that speaks one language is being held captive while a team that speaks diverse languages is an engaged team. A captive leader leads his team only by rules and regulations while an engaged leader leads his team by rules, regulations but most importantly by having a relationship with each team mate.

As a former TA Consultant at UC Davis, I discussed with my clients about various ways to engage their classroom. Based on research studies and experience with my clients, I found that teaching that focused on a particular learning style alienates more students than those that were diverse. In order to engage a classroom, an audience or your team, a team leader must be able to become all things to the team without loosing his identity. A great team leader individualizes his teammates and knows those that require coaching, mentoring, training, development and those that require independence. A great team leader makes an effort to know what his team mates care about (names of loved ones, hobbies, sports etc). A good team leader is close enough to inspire his crew and far enough to lead them. Using the same leadership style on everyone is like saying everyone from a particular country all look the same. Ouch! Knowing your team is hard work, but if it is valued productivity you are after, it is worth every effort. This way, your team will see you as a person and not just a position.

Do you speak your team language(s)?

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Pages of Life

Dr Myles Munroe said the grave is the richest place on earth because it carries within it dreams that never materialized. Who knows, a cure for HIV could have been discovered by someone who never got a chance or someone too scared to chase their dreams. There is usually an inscription on every tomb that has a summary of the deceased. An example is Albert Einsten, 14 March 1879 – 18 April 1955. The noted days are his birth and death dates and the rest of his life is represented with a hyphen. Similarly, our whole lives will be represented with a hypen when we are gone. The good news is, we have control of what the "-" description will be. I like Ralph Waldo Emerson's quote,"When you were born you were crying and everyone else was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone else is crying." What comes to mind if I mentioned Princess Diana, Steve Jobs, Mother Theresa? What about Saddam Hussein,Hitler and Idi Amin? The polar feelings you had are based on how these people made an impact in the world. How will your loved ones and the world remember you when you are gone? The important thing is not how many people remember you but the difference you make in your circle of influence. Life is more than going to college, working, paying bills and then die. Your life can have meaning and make an impact long after you are gone.

Do you realize that you are writing the pages of your life by the choices you make and the actions you take on a daily basis? If you saw your life history printed on the pages of a newspaper would you and your loved ones be proud of it? So, how does anyone live an impactful and significant life? The answer is pretty simple; ask yourself what you want to be remembered for and then take daily actions towards it. This exercise would enable you identify what is most important to you and help you stay on track.

You will be remembered either for the problems you created or the ones you solved. Choose wisely.

Me and My Big Mouth!

Do you feel stressed, depressed or anxious all the time? Have you tried every trick in the book but nothing seemed to work? Before you give in and accept it as your fate, there is one more thing you can try. It is called confessions. I know it sounds ridiculous. Have you noticed that any time you talk about some thing you are really excited about you feel the energy going through you? Similarly, when you are talking about negative experiences you feel sad because it seems like you are reliving the experience. Simply put, what we say with our mouths has an affect on our lives. Some people say their job is the most boring thing or their boss is the worst ever. Guess what? That is what happens. Your words have programmed the rest of your body to believe what you say. So, do I shut up and say nothing if that's what I am feeling? Not exactly. The answer lies in our thoughts. I am sure you remember the quote by Tao Tse, it  reads, "Watch your thoughts they become your words, watch your words they become actions, watch your actions they become your habits and watch your habits they become you". In summary, to control your words you need to take charge of your thoughts.

We live in an imperfect world and you can either choose to focus on all the bad in the world or  on the wonderful things. It is a choice you have to make. I agree there are situations or people who seem to be giants in our lives but for every battle, there is always victory ahead, if we have the right perspectives. You may not be able to stop negative thoughts flying over your head but you can stop them from building mountains of fear or depression. When that negative thought comes to your mind about yourself, job, boss, colleagues, partner etc, don't just shrug it off, choose to think a positive thought and say it. Examples include - "I feel great. It is going to be a great day. Things will workout for me". Once you win the battle in your mind, your tongue will follow.

Love at Work

In the words of Jimi Hendrix, “When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace”. People usually don't want to talk about love outside their families and loving relationships. The topic is considered mushy, soft and feminine in nature. At work, it is better seen than heard  and considered more of an HR role. I wonder if this is  because people do not know what love really means. So what is love?  I don’t believe there is any one universal definition for love because it means different things to different people. One thing is certain, everyone of us wants to love and be loved. The Message gives a good description of what love is all about:

Love never gives up

Love cares more for others than self

Love doesn't want what it doesn't have

love doesn't strut,

Doesn't have a swelled head

Doesn't force itself on others,

Isn't always "me first,"

Doesn't fly off the handle,

Doesn't keep score of the faults of others,

Doesn't revel when others grovel

Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,

Puts up with anything,

Trusts God Always

Always looks for the best,

Never looks back,
But keeps going ahead

You can imagine what our workplaces and relationships would look like in 2013, if we adhere to these precepts. One of my favorite quotes from Gandhi is," Be the change you want to see in the world". Love is a verb. It is an action. Words and intentions without actions are never enough. Love is what makes a difference.

What ways can you show love at work?

Happy New Year !

Wishing you a  prosperous and fruitful New Year!
May all your dreams and aspirations come true.
This is your year !  Let's get it started.

Thank You

Dear Readers,

Thank you for taking out time to read and comment on my blog. You make blogging worth it. Thank you! I hope to write more exciting and dynamic posts that will make a difference in your personal and professional lives. If you like what you read, come on board and join the community by subscribing. Feel free to pass any postings that you like to your friends and more importantly, I will like to hear your stories and what potential issues you want me to write about.

Once again, thank you for visiting my blog and have a beautiful and prosperous New Year.

Cheers,

Richard

It's Not Worth It

You have worked so hard and finally it has started to pay off. You are the rising star in your organization and your opportunities seem endless. Being the "go to" person comes with a lot of responsibility and an intense pressure to maintain the status quo . If we can take a que from history, sports and hollywood celebrities tend to do whatever it takes to maintain all the praise, fame and honor society pours on them. The attention they receive is like a drug and it is intoxicating.  These once innocent and hard working celebrities start cutting corners, move into drugs and do whatever is necessary to be number one. This concept does not apply only to celebrities but to anyone who holds any record of success.

History has shown that having positional leadership coupled with core values is a winning formula.  The combination of both is what makes great leaders.  Recently, General Patrieus, one of the greatest leaders of our nation had to give up his leadership position on moral grounds. There is no doubt that society has unrealistic expectations and is at times unforgiving of high achievers when they err. Whitney Houston, Michael Jackson, Bill Clinton and so many other "greats" in their fields have one time or the other slipped. Thankfully, some of them have been able to get back on track but many did not have the opportunity to rebuild and regain the public trust bestowed on them.

There is a seed of greatness in everyone of us but the real question is, what structures are we putting in place to ensure we do not compromise on the very principles that got us to the top in the first place? One potential solution is to have 911-relationships. These kind of relationships would ensure that you are accountable and stay on track. Anyone or organization can become successful but very few are able to withstand the pressure that comes with success. Are you going to trade your family name, reputation and earned success for a temporary hype of fame? Being a person of integrity is not a talent, it is a hard decision we have to make each day. Success at whatever the cost is not worth it.

Merry Christmas

A Season of Love

So it is Christmas and you have waited all year for this special season. A time of love, giving gifts and hanging out with loved ones. Some are excited about their gifts, while others are disappointed. Either way, it is important we remember that some people have no one to give them gifts. so let us choose to be grateful that we have people in our lives who can be a blessing to us. Let us focus on the real reason for christmas; it is about relationships. Christmas is a time to renew and reaffirm our commitment to our loved ones and remind them how much they mean to us. Many times we assume that our loved ones know how we feel about them but it is important that we actually tell them. Barbra Streisand mentioned on a Piers Morgan interview that her mother did not verbally tell her that she loved her. She assumed that Barbra would know that she loved her and she did not want that fact to get into her head. Barbra longed to hear her mum tell her "I love you". It is true that actions speak louder than words but actions and words speak loudest.

Christmas is a time to reconnect with old friends and rebuild strained bridges.It is a time to speak the truth in love. A time to forgive and be forgiven and a time to let the healing begin. You are the best christmas gift anyone can have. So, make this christmas season memorable for the people in your sphere of influence.
Your gifts cannot take the place of your presence.It is your presence that makes your presents meaningful. Make this holiday season memorable by telling someone you love them.

I hope this christmas is a good one and I hope you have fun. Merry Christmas everyone!

Scam Alert - Beware of 419 During This Season

Christmas is a season for shopping and scammers are also on the look out for your money. I posted my old DLSR camera on Craigslist to help off set the cost of getting a new one. The next morning I received  a message from Randy expressing interest in my camera. I was so excited, it seemed it was going to be  a quick sale. I verified my advertised information was accurate and Randy asked for my Paypal email which I sent. He sent me an email saying I should check my spam folder and I would see an email from paypal. I did see the email but there was an extra $100.00 more than my proposed sale amount. I asked Randy why he was giving me extra money and he said it was because he wanted it shipped urgently. I told him I would have to find out the cost of shipping which he responded that it will be $70.00. He told me he was sending the camera to his cousin for christmas and he sent me his address. I got a bit suspicious when I saw the name of his cousin and the country the mail was going to. Knowing that part of the world well, it was unlikely that the two would be connected but you never know. I told  Randy I was not comfortable sending a parcel outside the US and I would prefer to send it to him within the US. He told me he was not in the US. At this point I tried his number and it went to Google voice. My suspicions were kind of verified that I was dealing with an identity thief. I spoke with a few friends if they knew who I could report to but there were no obvious or easy places to go. Randy was not my real client, he was using someones identity. I had an option to close my eyes and send the camera, after all i had all the money but I couldn't bear the thought of supporting someone who was making  another persons  life miserable.

I spoke with a colleague about possible lines of action to take to stop the criminal. My colleague said most cases of fraud are that people are trying to take from you and not vice versa. This changed my strategy and I decided to call paypal. It was interesting to find out that the money my client claimed he had sent to me was not even there. The email I received from Paypal was forged but it looked pretty authentic to me. I decided to play along and told my client that I would not send the camera unless I received the money. He said I should not have called Paypal and he later threatened me that he will report me for not fulfilling my part of the bargain. My response, "Go ahead". I never heard back from Randy again.  I learned from this experience that while i was trying to protect my unknown neighbor, I was actually protecting myself. I also learned  sticking to my principles of working with Integrity even with a stranger over the internet  saved me a lot of money. Lessons to take away - Think again if you are to ship abroad from a craigslist and the number used cannot be reached directly. Make sure to call your bank or Paypal to verify that the money is in your account before shipping the item. Lastly, follow your intuition, if it does not feel right, don't do it.

I'll like to hear about your experiences 

2013 - Turning Resolutions into Realities

If you think 2013 starts in a few weeks you are probably running a little late. You will get best results for a future you prepare for. The year is coming to a close and I am guessing you are planning or already taken inventory of the good, could be better and delete lists from 2012.  I am sure you know that most new year resolutions do not work. They start to fail from week-1 because they lack details of how the plan will be  executed.  Mike Murdock said "You are going to be the same person that you are five years from now except two things change; the books you read and the company you keep". By default, situations just don't get better, we need to take some action to make them so. 

How is 2013 going to be different from 2012? If you want to make a difference in 2013, you may need to change your strategy in order to get better results. According to Napoleon Hill, "Whatever your mind can believe and conceive, it can achieve". It all starts in the mind; if you are going to achieve bigger and greater things in 2013 you need to have a picture of where you would rather be. You can only feature in a future you can picture. Your future is what you make of today. If you think you can, you are right, if you think you can't, you are also right. Your thoughts are the bedrock for a solid 2013. What else affects your mind and what you believe? Your confessions and the people you hang around can make or mar your new year.  If you keep saying negative things that's what you are going to get. If you are always around negative people, you will soon become one of them. 

A rubber band is only useful when it is stretched.  If you want to achieve greater, you need to position yourself in an environment that encourages and stimulates your productivity. Surround yourself and connect with mentors and people whose ethics and accomplishments you admire. You can only feature in a future you can picture. Dare to dream big. 

I'll like to hear about how you plan for the new year.