Side-Effects

What are the side effects of your actions? Do you know that  many prescription drugs do not make it to market because their side effects does more harm than good than the intended drug.  Similarly, It is important that we consider the consequences of our actions or in-actions before carrying them out.This is important because some decisions you make could have some un-intended consequences . Doing this could save you a lot of heartaches and regrets later.

There is Greatness within You

If you take a corn seed and plant it into the ground and water it, After some time it starts to grow and finally you have your harvest. You started with a seed and you now have hundreds or thousands of seeds attached round a maize cub. Similarly, the seed that you have is your talent, the soil that its planted in is your career/job/hobby. The watering is the development of your talent by applying yourself and constantly developing yourself through reading, association, workshops...etc. Increase comes with use. If you are frustrated and feel your current circumstance does not reflect your ability then ask yourself the following:

Do I have any talent?

Trust me, we all do. Many times we have a tendency to under play our talents and take them for granted.  look deep down inside of you or speak with close friends or family to help you discover what they think you do exceptionally well consistently and sparks your creativity. 

Am I in the right place? 

Where have you planted yourself in terms of a job, career, association etc? If you are in a place where your natural abilities are not encouraged and celebrated, you will feel discouraged and unvalued. If you have to change who you are in order to fit into your job role then you may need to think again. The way you are is because of why you are. Maize crops do not strive on beach soil but palm trees do. There are places that your personality and uniqueness fit, so there is no point trying to force a square peg in a round hole. Deposit your talent where the rate of success is high.

Am I applying myself?

This is taking responsibility to ensure you grow by investing in learning and development. Read books, seek out a mentor, Join clubs or associations that will lead you to your dreams. This way, you grow your talent to become a strength. Afterwards, you will see that you are performing at a high level consistently.

Take It Back

Too many times many of us let others define us by seeking permission to be ourselves, by constantly looking for affirmation and letting what others think of us dictate our actions. It is important we get to that point in our lives when we dont need anyone to treat us in a particular way to feel special. You existence is proof that you matter. You are peculiar and valuable, so make it count. 

My mantra is "I matter where it matters and where i do not matter, it does not matter"

Better Sorry Than Safe

A rubber band is only useful when it is stretched. The rubber band has two states, relaxed and stretched. The relaxed state of a rubber band is not useful for anything, but the stretched state is where its purpose is maximized. Likewise, people who want to achieve great things cannot afford to remain in their relaxed state, or comfort zone.

High flyers in all walks of life have an all-or-nothing attitude. Think of any great work of art. It took many, many hours to create the masterpiece. Humans did not land on the moon out of convenience. It was a vision that was conceived and birthed through hard work and determination. The Wright brothers, who invented the world’s first successful airplane, encountered many failed attempts. It was not an easy task, but difficult did not mean impossible for the duo.

You cannot play it safe and expect to make an impact at the same time. Playing it safe is living in a relaxed state, which is below your potential— filled with regrets (woulda-coulda-shoulda) is not a happy place to be. It is always better to aim high. Even if you miss your target, your end result is still good.

Leaders are Born and Made

There is an ongoing debate as to whether leaders are made or born. I believe it is both.

Some people believe that leadership like any other skill can be learned. While there is some truth to this, to assume that leadership is mutually exclusive of talent, acquired skills, and knowledge is like saying you can learn to sing like Mariah Carey or paint like Leonardo da Vinci if you attend the right school. Skills and knowledge without talent can take you only so far; at best, you become a good leader but not a great leader. I believe in order to become a great leader, you must possess some innate qualities.

Imagine someone with tremendous sales talent. In order for him to maintain high productivity, he must believe in what he is selling and have a good knowledge of the product. These two factors coupled with his natural talent for persuasion are what make him successful. But remove one of the factors, and you will see a negative impact on his performance.

If you teach someone the product information and try to infuse some passion into him without him having natural sales talent, he will probably be a mediocre salesperson as opposed to someone who has all three factors. Likewise, you can teach people leadership skills, but if they do not have passion for leading others, they will fail in comparison to someone who does.

When I Meet The One...

Can one person be everything to you in a relationship? Can a single individual play the role of friend, parent, lover, mentor, doctor, confidant, gym partner, mind reader, and legal adviser? A dentist cannot help you with bone or joint problems. He would rather leave the final judgment to a specialist in that field.

Many of us are in a constant search for the “right” person, place, or thing and think when we get him, her, or it all will be well with us. However, the truth is, no one person or thing can meet all our needs and solve all our problems. That is far too heavy a load for any one person to carry. This expectation may have ruined many potential relationships because they did not fit our picture of “The One.”

It is important that we let people care for us in the areas where they naturally excel and not where we expect their support. Having this mind- set will save us from this endless search and will open our hearts to let a variety of people be a blessing to us and be blessed by us, thus relieving the stress or burden on any one person.

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Turning Points: Action Today, Change Tomorrow

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Whatever You Take for Granted Becomes Grounded

Whatever you take for granted becomes grounded. I am sure everyone has heard the phrase, “You don’t appreciate something until it is gone.” I have decided that is not the motto I want to follow for my life. Thinking back, some situations would have been better handled if I had let some people know how much I valued them and their contribution to my life.

Whatever you appreciate increases in value, and whatever you neglect depreciates. The end result of depreciation is a loss of valuable connection and relationship. Hammerstein says it best: “A song is not a song until you sing it.” Likewise, love is not love until you give it away. It is important you realize that the people in your life are not mind readers. It is not okay to only appreciate people in your mind; you need to let them know how much you care and not assume they know how you feel.

Assumptions kill relationships. Speak out, and show you care.

Friendships are important at work

The office is for work and it is important to always put that in mind. Let your productivity and accomplishments at work speak for you rather than trying to be a buddy with your supervisors to climb up the ranks. It is true no one can put an embargo or cap on where love or friendships finds you but there are usually some lines that can be crossed in work friendships and this could have serious impacts on your career in the future. Your personal friends don’t take your mistakes as permanent damage but your work mates could label it as incompetence. So ensure you know the difference between a colleague and a friend at work, before disclosing personal information. Tom Rath, leader of Gallup’s Research and Leadership Consulting worldwide, in his book, Vital Friends, their study showed that cultivating true friendships at work increased effectivity of workers, contrary to popular belief. Lets be honest, I am sure we have either felt better going to work because of a friend or worse because of a particular colleague. I have experienced both and I prefer the former. So, you may want to consider deepening the relationships you have at work because a happy you at work translates to other areas of your life. In building work friendships, remember to keep a little distance that keeps you close enough and far enough, not to burn each other out.

Single and Blessed

Being single is not being cripple. You should remember that there are many that are double with trouble. So before you find or are found, celebrate your life and make the most of opportunities that come your way.

I am sure you would agree that it is better to be alone than be in bad company. Being single is a gift, dont be deceived about the TV commercials and the impression that Hollywood brings. You are unique and special, you cannot afford to fall for just anyone. Take each day at a time, your future partner is meant to compliment you and not complete you. So get a life and enjoy it.