Leaders are Born and Made

There is an ongoing debate as to whether leaders are made or born. I believe it is both.

Some people believe that leadership like any other skill can be learned. While there is some truth to this, to assume that leadership is mutually exclusive of talent, acquired skills, and knowledge is like saying you can learn to sing like Mariah Carey or paint like Leonardo da Vinci if you attend the right school. Skills and knowledge without talent can take you only so far; at best, you become a good leader but not a great leader. I believe in order to become a great leader, you must possess some innate qualities.

Imagine someone with tremendous sales talent. In order for him to maintain high productivity, he must believe in what he is selling and have a good knowledge of the product. These two factors coupled with his natural talent for persuasion are what make him successful. But remove one of the factors, and you will see a negative impact on his performance.

If you teach someone the product information and try to infuse some passion into him without him having natural sales talent, he will probably be a mediocre salesperson as opposed to someone who has all three factors. Likewise, you can teach people leadership skills, but if they do not have passion for leading others, they will fail in comparison to someone who does.

When I Meet The One...

Can one person be everything to you in a relationship? Can a single individual play the role of friend, parent, lover, mentor, doctor, confidant, gym partner, mind reader, and legal adviser? A dentist cannot help you with bone or joint problems. He would rather leave the final judgment to a specialist in that field.

Many of us are in a constant search for the “right” person, place, or thing and think when we get him, her, or it all will be well with us. However, the truth is, no one person or thing can meet all our needs and solve all our problems. That is far too heavy a load for any one person to carry. This expectation may have ruined many potential relationships because they did not fit our picture of “The One.”

It is important that we let people care for us in the areas where they naturally excel and not where we expect their support. Having this mind- set will save us from this endless search and will open our hearts to let a variety of people be a blessing to us and be blessed by us, thus relieving the stress or burden on any one person.

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Whatever You Take for Granted Becomes Grounded

Whatever you take for granted becomes grounded. I am sure everyone has heard the phrase, “You don’t appreciate something until it is gone.” I have decided that is not the motto I want to follow for my life. Thinking back, some situations would have been better handled if I had let some people know how much I valued them and their contribution to my life.

Whatever you appreciate increases in value, and whatever you neglect depreciates. The end result of depreciation is a loss of valuable connection and relationship. Hammerstein says it best: “A song is not a song until you sing it.” Likewise, love is not love until you give it away. It is important you realize that the people in your life are not mind readers. It is not okay to only appreciate people in your mind; you need to let them know how much you care and not assume they know how you feel.

Assumptions kill relationships. Speak out, and show you care.

Friendships are important at work

The office is for work and it is important to always put that in mind. Let your productivity and accomplishments at work speak for you rather than trying to be a buddy with your supervisors to climb up the ranks. It is true no one can put an embargo or cap on where love or friendships finds you but there are usually some lines that can be crossed in work friendships and this could have serious impacts on your career in the future. Your personal friends don’t take your mistakes as permanent damage but your work mates could label it as incompetence. So ensure you know the difference between a colleague and a friend at work, before disclosing personal information. Tom Rath, leader of Gallup’s Research and Leadership Consulting worldwide, in his book, Vital Friends, their study showed that cultivating true friendships at work increased effectivity of workers, contrary to popular belief. Lets be honest, I am sure we have either felt better going to work because of a friend or worse because of a particular colleague. I have experienced both and I prefer the former. So, you may want to consider deepening the relationships you have at work because a happy you at work translates to other areas of your life. In building work friendships, remember to keep a little distance that keeps you close enough and far enough, not to burn each other out.

Single and Blessed

Being single is not being cripple. You should remember that there are many that are double with trouble. So before you find or are found, celebrate your life and make the most of opportunities that come your way.

I am sure you would agree that it is better to be alone than be in bad company. Being single is a gift, dont be deceived about the TV commercials and the impression that Hollywood brings. You are unique and special, you cannot afford to fall for just anyone. Take each day at a time, your future partner is meant to compliment you and not complete you. So get a life and enjoy it.

Characteristics That Make You Likeable

Hey everyone, social media such as twitter, Facebook, myspace seem to be the center of our networking and communication these days. They have incredible advantages such as the role they are playing in places like Egypt. Despite the vast benefits of todays virtual and social network, they are still at best virtual. People may tend to be loosing their ability to connect with people on a one to one basis . The social networks can connect you and even bring people to your door step but its your personality that will make them stay with you or leave. Before you go for the final pitch, people will want a chance to want to know or meet you. The question is , will they like want they see? This blog is about going from zero to hero. Regardless of where you are right now,  from awesome to bone head, there is growth for everyone

What are the qualities or the characteristics that you see in people that make you want to be around them?

Are You a Nutrient Or a Weed

What do you have to offer? What do you bring to the table? Do you bring out the best in the people you connect with? Do you bring relief or are you that person who sucks the life out of a room?    You may be gorgeous or generally likeable but after a while people will evaluate their relationships with you. They will ask themselves if they have become a better person by being around you. Typically, when vegetables are grown in a garden, weeds start growing as well. The weeds compete with the vegetables for the nutrients in the soil. If the weeds are not removed, they eventually affect the growth and quality of the vegetables. If people see you as a weed in their lives, it is just a matter of time before they get rid of you. People who act like weeds contribute nothing to relationships. They just keep taking; as a result they become a nuisance. If people see you as a nutrient, they will want you in their lives because you make their world a better place. So look out for ways you can be a nutrient to the people in your sphere of influence.

Dreams and Second Opinions

Many of us have been limited by what other people think or feel about our ideas or dreams. While I think it is important to get counsel on crucial issues affecting your life, you must remember that they are guidelines and not rules. The counsel you receive should help you make informed decisions. It is also important whom you ask  counsel. A doctor is not the best person to ask for advice on your tax problems. 

The Wright brothers learned from the failed experience of others to make their dream (airplane) come true. I am sure many others gave up since others had failed but the Wright brothers listened to their heart and persisted.Please do not give up on your dreams because it does not sound like a market idea originally. Some dreams are mean't to create markets and not necessarily fit in. Keep at it. It will work. 

Friend Fishing

Think about it we all fishers, we all are fishing for something  ranging from love, friends, career , esteem, life, laughter, depth...... One thing I do know about fishing is that the quality of your bait determines the quality of your catch. Catching your bait and keeping it is another matter on its own. Likewise with people, the quality of people you tend to attract to you depends largely on your personality or in some cases your persona. The question then becomes if your personality or reputation tends to attract people does it make them stay or do discover it was all a facade?  It is no news that the secret of successful companies depends on repeat customers but even better evangelical customers who inform others about the great service or product they have obtained. So like the fisherman who makes a good quality bait for fishing, your best bait here will be your perosnality. I am sure some sketchy people use actual baits on people just to lure them in and  trap them but it is just a matter of time before they lose their holds or grips on their preys. This blog will also help in identifying such personalities and how to avoid and break free from them

What are characteristics of great baits when it comes to fishing for friends?