The Best Christmas Gift

Your  loved ones have already given you a list of potential things they would love for Christmas. I am guessing you are either relieved or overwhelmed depending on whether you have gotten your Christmas shopping done. Hopefully you dont overextend yourself by going into debt and using the first few months of the new year to recover. Our loved ones get over the gifts we give them pretty quickly and are always looking forward to the next one. This holiday season let us try to  appreciate  those we  spend most of our time with - colleagues at work. There is one gift that is not easily forgotten and will last forever in their hearts. It is the gift of love. I know you are loving by giving but you can add something that would make your gift look like a million dollars. You can add a heart felt note to your gift and let the recipient know how much you value them and how you hope for a better future with them. Better still, you can say it, make a video out of it...etc. These kind of gifts lasts a life time because the memories are endless. People may forget what you give to them but they will never forget how you made them feel. This Christmas why dont you reconnect with an old friend, a colleague or mend a broken bridge. Christmas is more than just shopping and hanging out around the dinner table. It is a time to let go of the gripes of the past and begin again.
Do you know that christmas is a miserable time for some people?  You can choose to have an early christmas for those who dont have anyone to share their love with. If you dont have a place to go, why dont you make your place a home that others can come to  and enjoy the holidays. Christmas like every other day is a time to forget about ourselves and focus on others. The best gifts cant be bought by money. By bringing happiness to others, we are truly enriching our own lives. Happy Christmas and Happy New Year!

What are you going to do differently this Christmas?  I'll like to hear your ideas and stories

The Beauty of Saying No

Many of us are not very comfortable saying no. The reasons vary from insecurity to cultural differences. We have become pros in making everyone but ourselves happy. Unfortunately, we are the ones that suffer the consequences.  If you are the kind of person that helps everyone but receive no help in return, then it is time for you to start learning how to say no. It is okay to say no. No does not have to mean never, it can mean not now or try again. Maybe if we knew why it was important to say no, we might consider practicing it and becoming good at it. Do you know that being able to say no says a lot of about your self-esteem? People who have a low self-esteem are afraid of saying no because they fear loss of a valuable relationship. Saying no means you value yourself,  time and space. It says you respect yourself and you have self-control. People who are able to say no have a lower chance of being taken advantage off. Saying no separates you from the rest of the crowd. No is an important word we should learn to use. When you say no with good intentions, the other party will understand. If they walk away, you have just saved yourself from an abusive relationship.  Learning to say no will help you avoid many unwanted troubles you had no business with in the first place

I must say there are times when we need to be flexible and compromise but that should be a choice we make. It shouldn't be under compulsion or what we think people expect from us. There is no point saying yes and doing it half-heartedly. The  consequences are worse than you declining originally.

I'll like to hear your experiences on how you are dealing with using the word No.

What Great Companies Do - A Lesson from Genencor

I got home yesterday and had  a box waiting for me. Upon opening it, there was a sweatshirt from Genencor (a company I interned at during summer). There was a hand written note that read, " Happy Holidays,  we hope that this sweatshirt will keep you warm! Good luck on your finals and thanks again for spending your summer with us! We miss you! ". 

I was impressed and touched at the same time. My internship was over but yet, they still made me feel valuable for my contributions to the company. I guess it is no surprise that they are one of the best companies to work for in the Bay Area. I wish more companies realize that brains are like hearts and they go where they are valued. The best way to retain talents is not just a great pay check but creating an atmosphere where people can be themselves and know they have a voice in the organization. As an intern at Genencor, I worked on projects that were top priority to the company. I was encouraged to use my talents in creative ways. The best part of my internship was the people I interacted with. From the receptionist desk to the boardroom, you really could not tell who was who. Everyone was valuable and Genecor made it a point to let us know we were appreciated.

When employers appreciate and value their employees, they are on track to moving from good to great. Thanks Genencor for leading the way!

I'll like to hear your experiences of how your organization has shown they care.

Success Is The Best Revenge

Each and everyone one of us at some point in our lives will encounter some unavoidable negative people. We always fall short regardless of whatever we do in their eyes. I have come to realize that there is no point trying to please or explain because they count such as weaknesses or incompetence. The best way to silence your critics is to deliver results. Like water, success does not have any known enemies. Success is colorless and has no boundaries. People may not like you as a person but let the quality of your work be  your voice, by being the best at what you do. There are advantages having critics in our lives, though it never feels like that during the grind. Critics make us stronger and drive us to work harder.

For everyone who has ever told you that you are nothing, amount to nothing and to those who have under estimated and written you off, remember, your success is the best revenge.  Do not let other peoples perception of you become your reality. You and only you are the prophet over your life. Do not give up. You have what it takes.  You can do it. Usain Bolt, the fastest man on earth, was the first man to defend his win with an Olympic gold in 100 and 200M back to back. It had never been done before but he did it. You can be the first too on your own journey.

I'll like to hear about stories and experiences about how you dealt with the critics in your life.

Back to The Basics

It is amazing how the world is changing and becoming a global village. Businesses are growing in leaps and bounds thanks to social media. Social media is transforming our lives, an example was the use of social media during the Arab spring. With all the advantages of technology, there seems to be an area that seems to be suffering. Our communities are the hardest hit. The scary part of all this is that, we don't realize it. These days, we live in the I-generation (all about me).   Before the advent of social media, people made efforts to chat with strangers, say hello to co-workers,  talk to their neighbors or call friends on their birthdays. People dont say good morning anymore and  word "thank you" is becoming rare. We have become engulfed in our tiny worlds and focus more on the latest twits or apps from our Iphones. Interpersonal relationships now seems to be more transactional rather than communal. No wonder while we are advancing in technology, our interpersonal relationships seem to be at an all time low. Take a look at Washington and you understand what I am talking about. It comes as no surprise that companies spend billions on resolving companies yearly. 

  I realized I had become a victim and had resorted to social media in communicating and I was loosing that personal touch with loved ones. I chose to make a conscious effort to put people first and not technology. I dont usually like when I call a company and I am been directed by a machine.  I am a believer in technology because it makes our lives easier, but let us remember that great relationships are never built on the altar of convenience.

I will like to hear about your experiences and how to ensure we don't loose our communities and loves ones to technology

Just Before You Exit

Anyone who works out at the gym knows that whatever muscles you exercise regularly are the ones you see most results in. Similarly, quitting like winning is a skill. Whichever one you exercise more will eventually become a habit. These exercises (quitting or winning) started from when we were little. Remember that  almost impossible math homework that took you hours or days to figure out. What about walking out from a relationship  or someone during a conflict? We are always confronted with two choices either to perserve or give in. It is important to know that   letting go/exiting and quitting are not the same. It is wise to know when to let go rather than waste  precious time or valuable resources.

Is there ever a good time to quit? Zig Ziglar Author of Tough Times Never Last But Tough People Do said "Winners Never Quit and Quitters Never Win". It is important to distinguish between quitting and taking an exit. Taking an exit occurs when you have considered and tried all options and then you come to an objective and informed decision. During a fire alarm, there are usually exit doors for people to escape. The use of these doors are often the last resort. The aftermath of such a decision is relief. Quitting on the other hand does not put all options on the table. The quitter views some options  as too much work and doesn't bother. The aftermath of quitting is often characterized by regrets (woulda-coulda-shoulda).  The quitter never wants to step out of their comfort zone and never knows what could have happened if they did. If you have considered all options and you have to let a job or a person go, you are not a quitter you have just taken an exit.

Winners have a tenacity to them. The difference between the ordinary and the extra-ordinary is the little extra. Winners keep trying new options till they get their desired results. No does not mean never to the winner, it probably means try again or not now. Winners keep keeping at it untill it works. Even when they have to exit, they always keep the door open, for they know they may have to come through that door some time in the future.

I'll like to hear your thoughts or experiences on quitting or letting go? 

What's your Gangnam Style ?

PSY, the South Korean pop artist made history this week. His viral song, Gangnam Style, is the most liked video on youtube with over 1 billion views and counting. It holds the Guinness World Record of most viewed on youtube  . The UN Secretary General, Ban Ki Moon, hailed the song as a "force for world peace". It has inspired many parodies such as the Oregon Duck and the US Navy. Gangnam Style brought Korea to the center of the world. Who would have thought a non english song with cheesy lyrics from South Korea would have reached No 1 in numerous countries including France, Germany, Australia, and the UK. It subsequently won the best video at the MTV Europe Music Awards?

Some might argue about the intellectual content of Gangnam style, but what makes Gangnam style so special? It is not just the lyrics or unique dance moves but the conception of an idea to its execution. The following are my favorite lessons from Gangnam Style:

1. My friend told me the other day "Practice like you would play". A similar military phrase is  "Train like you would fight" -  The dance steps in Gangnam style though looks simply but PSY spent thirty nights trying to figure out and perfect an appropriate dance for his song. PSY put his best into his project.
2. Let yourself loose -   PSY had an opinion about the life style of the people in Gangnam, a city in South Korea and looked for a creative way to tell his story. PSY could have said it was a no brainier or who would care about an unheard district in Seoul, but he did it anyway. He found a way to tell his story in a way that  captured his audience. He showed us that an idea does not have to be too intellectual to win over almost a billion views.  Similarly, what makes you different is what sets you apart in the market place. 
3. Talent is colorless - Over 810 million views!  Gangnam Style was not written in the languages where its currently most celebrated. It was a hit all over the world. This song is a good confirmation that we should always accept our individuality and express our originality. PSY has been interviewed by Ellen Degeneres and several other show hosts
4. Go where you are celebrated - Not everyone is going to like or support your idea and that is okay. When Gangnam was released in Japan, it was met with negativism but the rest of the world had a different opinion. PSY went to where his fans were and did not try to convince his critics. Similarly,  It is important that we do not base quality of our ideas or products on the opinion of others.
5. Success is cumulative  - Champions are not made in the ring but recognized in it. PSY had been working hard but this song made everything worth it.
6. Opportunity favors the prepared - Psy was ready for the world stage and when Scoot Braun, American Talent Manager, who discovered Justin Beiber approached him, he said "Sign me up". 
7. Just Do It - Your idea is probably not a Gangnam Style but there is a dream in you that  wont go away. Your idea is your passport to the world. Why not take that bold step and try it out? Remember to practice like you would play. The backstage is for preparation and the front stage is for manifestation.  One day the world would shine its eyes on you, so you better be prepared when the opportunity knocks.

Like what you read? Spread the word and subscribe to my blog (Right sidebar) 

What every girl needs to know about her BF's friends

I have the opportunity of meeting, mentoring and counseling a lot of dynamic people. I found some recurring  themes and I thought sharing this information would help someone out there.

You are having the time of your life and probably believe you have met the man of your dreams. Not seeing your loved one for a day seems unthinkable and  feels like eternity. One thing you may have forgotten is that, he had a life before he met you. I know you had one too and thats why it is important for the health of the relationship that your worlds do not merge into one. It is a great idea to follow the wise advice that suggests you  should be close enough to keep each other warm and far enough not to burn each other out in your relationships.

Relationships are not crutches, rather, they are like wings that take us to another level. To be honest, I do not know too many people who enjoy the company of a needy person. I know you mean the world to your mate but give each other  room to breathe. Your partner cannot miss you if you are always there. Some couples have a tendency to isolate themselves from their friends which eventually bites them in the end. Remember no one can meet all your needs, each of you still need other people in your lives in other for your relationship to be balanced. It is never too late to start rebuilding the bridges you may have burned. If the bridge is intact, ensure you strengthen it. A good way to strengthen such bridges is to have a healthy rapport with your BF's friends. Friends have substancial influence over us and they can help during rocky times when you or your BF seeks advice from their inner circle. I have heard  of several broken relationships and engagements because friends who were left out of or ignored when the couple had their good times refused to  be peacemakers when things got out of hand.

The truth is, we all want to be around and hold onto things and people we love but when it becomes excessive, it causes our loved ones to withdraw rather than draw close to us. When people come together to establish any form of relationship, it is wise to share each others worlds rather than one party taking it over. 

The Grateful Become Great

Happy Thanksgiving!  Thanksgiving is a designated day when we are grateful for the blessings we have received. It is a time to be thankful for the great things happening in our lives, knowing fully well that, whatever situation we are in could have been worse. Before you sit down and start digging into your Thanksgiving turkey, remember that for more than half of the world population, your meal is a luxury. I know the healthcare is not perfect but more than half of the world population have none at all.  Education is expensive but a lot of people all over the world have no education at all. The UN just established Malala Day in recognition of Malala who was shot because she encouraged young girls to be educated in Pakistan.  We live in an imperfect world and there will always be issues, but we choose to focus on whats working in our lives. The fact that we are alive means there is hope and that's something to be grateful for. We live in a country that is the envy of the world. The veterans sacrifice their lives so that we can all live in peace. Whatever we appreciate increases in value, so, Thanksgiving should be done on a daily basis in our hearts. Today is a gift, tomorrow is a promise, why not give thanks for the hope of a greater tomorrow. Happy thanksgiving and Bon appetit everyone!

The statement "You can do anything you set your mind to do" is not totally true

"You can do anything you set your mind to do", is often taken out of context. This statement in my opinion is like a two edged sword. It has helped so many people and brought so many others down. This quote can be spinned however you like but lets put these words in proper context. If I told you that you could do or be anything you want and you take the statement literally, you definitely could take some honey and lime and pick up a microphone and try to sing like Mariah Careh, hopefully the sound coming out is not too frightening. It takes more than hard work to sing like Whitney Houston, entertain like Michael Jackson, act like Julia Roberts, compose like Andrew Webber and build an organization like Steve Jobs did. You have got to have talent. So when the statement "You can do anything you set your mind to do"  is used, people are talking about achieving excellence or making what seems impossible possible by pursuing your talents. This is because when you pursue your talents, there are no limits to what you can achieve, but there are limits when all you have are skills. You are usually the best at what you love and thats related to your talents.

Jim Weinner, CEO of linkedin, recently echoed the same words but what exactly did he mean.My goal is to help you put some balance to these statement so that you are better informed.  Success has many paths but two are non negotiable, which are hard/smart work and talent. If you have a natural talent in an area and you couple that with hard work, in a matter of time, the world will notice you. So why aren't many people successful? I don't have all the answers but this i know for sure, many people have chosen careers based on either the economy, family pressure, prestige, peer influence or uncertainty. These people are hard working for sure but they are struggling to keep up. There are trying to be anything they want to be. A problem that often occurs is, when you compare these group with people who have the natural ability and are hard working, they often fall short. They can be successful in their careers alright but they are probably not fulfilled because they have chased dreams that was not built or designed for their talents. 

We don't have to look much further, just go to hospitals and see disgruntled health workers who are mean  to the patienrs they are sworn to protect. Classrooms are filled with professors who hate teaching and students pay the price for that. Students who see the class as a bridge to a bigger dream or a dream itself, often don't let the inadequacies of a teacher or TA deter them. Too many people are trying to be what they are not and ignoring who they are and that's messing up so many lives . I have a friend who was one of the best medical students in his class and graduated with flying colors. He never practiced medicine a day in his life. Today he is in finance. He succeeded and was the best in medicine but he wasn't fulfilled. Whatever dream you are chasing should bring you fulfillment. Prestige, fame, money are byproducts of a fulfilled career. 

You can set your mind to do anything (achieve sustainable excellence), if you pursue your dreams and accomplish them through your talents. When you do, all other things will follow.