How many times have your intentions being misunderstood by others and led to anger, grudges and even broken relationships. I have been on that path before and this prompted me to investigate the proper way to apologize. Even the best communicators and well mannered people could offend others without realizing it. It is important that we learn the art of a good apology and hopefully that helps to restore and strengthen both or personal and business relationships. A good apology requires work because you have to prepare for the apology and hopefully you get a positive response from the other person.
According to Aaron Lazare, former dean and professor of psychiatry at the University of Massachusetts Medical School and author of the book on Apology, a good apology should contain the following:
- An acknowledgement of the offense
- An explanation of your actions
- An expression of remorse
- Some sort of reparation
Lazare says, " If you admit responsibility but don't say you regret anything, then you are justifying your actions. You are saying, Yes I did it but heres why. If you admit regret but not responsibility, thats an excuse." It is important that a good apology indicates ownership of what happened and also clear in admitting regret for what happened. Of course a good apology has to have a heart to it and not just mechanical. According to Lazare, "I'm sorry if you got offended", " I'm sorry-ish" - are not apologies. Hugging it out or giving a hi five should only be suggested by the offending party. Crying it out may be a little too much. Remember to maintain eye contact, avoid smiling so as not to water down what you are trying to do.
Giving someone a heartfelt apology is an attribute of the strong and not of weaklings. It is a good and honorable thing to do. It has the power to restore broken relationships and make them stronger. Would you rather loose your pride or a great relationship? Do the right thing. The perfect time is now.
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