Job Hunting?

Looking for a job is a job in itself. Combing that with any other kind of work can make job hunting seem overwhelming. What doesn't help is when employers do not get back to you or you see very generic emails and you know that your resume wasn't given the light of day. I have had my share of both good and bad experiences  and I am hoping you learn from both  via the following:

1. Finding a job is similar to finding a future partner. You want to make sure you get it right rather than making it right. I recommend that you read StrengthsFinder 2.0,  take the Myers Briggs  and  Strongs Interests Inventory tests. They will help you in matching your talents with potential roles you would excel at.
2. Have a list of potential companies you will like to work for and check out their job requirements. You can use this to choose potential classes in college.
3. Start looking early- typically you should start looking for a job a year before you think you need one. This is because it can take  a long time for background checks, paper work etc. This also reduces pressure on you instead of waiting till the last minute. I hear someone say I don't have that time anymore, thats okay, look at the next point.
4. Use your network - Find out where your friends, parents friends, friends of friends are  and try to get connected with them. Linkedin is a great tool for this, I actually got some interviews via linkedin. I got my internship through a friend who worked at the company. He took my resume to the hiring manager and I had the skills they were looking for.
5. It is important that you know if a company is a good fit for you. I know this does not seem important if you just need a job to pay the bills. A good balance  is to find out if you can do an internship or volunteer their. A broken engagement is better than a broken marriage, so it is better to use your internship as a good fit test.
6. Looking for your next job or internship can look like forever, but do not loose hope. While you are waiting, you can invest in yourself by volunteering and start preparing for interviews (behavioral based) cause you never know when you will get that call.
7. Lastly, have you thought of starting a business or putting some flesh to that childhood dream. Richard Branson founder Virgin records and Virgin Atlantic, started his company because he was tired of receiving rejection letters. Richard Branson is one of the wealthiest men in America today.  Not having a job does not mean you have no talents, maybe you are meant to be a job provider for others.  Henry Ford said does who dont take risks work for those who do. Go for it, you can do it.

Lessons from 2012 US Presidential Elections

The elections have come and gone, while we may be in a hurry to forget the details of the bitter campaign, we must not forget the lessons left behind. Fortunately, there is something to take away for everyone and they are neither red or blue centered. The following are my top picks:

1. The solution to the economy lies neither with Obama or Romney according to Ken Fisher a   columnist for Forbes magazine and the Founder and CEO of Fisher Investments. (I hope that makes you feel better). 
2. Never under estimate the competition no matter how good you are. We all know the impact a bad debate had on President Obama. 
3. Be careful what you say especially when you are on camera. It can eventually be taken out of context and used against you. We remember the infamous 47% comments made by Gov Romney and the redistribution of wealth statements by President Obama.
4. On matters of principle, be firm. For anything else, go with the flow. Both presidential candidates were accused of flip flopping. This reduced credibility and believability on both aisles.
5. Focus on issues and not personalities. Any time either candidate focused  on race, wealth, birth certificate...etc. It often worked against them and made the public sympathetic to the perceived underdog.
6. The moments after victory or defeat are important because they can make you memorable or forgettable. I am not in a position to judge authenticity but Pres Obama's speech seemed inclusive while Gov Romney seemed like an outreach
7. No condition is permanent. Gov Romney nearly won the election  which was impressive considering the fact that he was several points below the president.
8. It is not necessarily the best candidate that wins an election but the first seller. The democrats had many negatives going into the election but they compensated that with a good strategy to bring out their supporters. The republicans had a good message but  were outwitted by the sales team of the democrats
9. Diversity is the spice of life and it helps win elections too - Just before the winner was announced, the democrats had a lot of diversity in the crowd but the republican crowd was very homogeneous.  
10. People will first buy into you before they burn into what you have to offer.
11. The American dollar bill has on it "In God We Trust". I guess that the nation builders put that for a reason knowing that the best of us is still fallible.
12. Where there is life, there is hope. There is hope for America. Division means two visions. Any divided house is sure to fall. It is time to come together and do great things again.  You have done it before, you can do it again.

Band-Aid Relationships

Band-Aids are often used in dressing burns, wounds etc.  Band-Aids are often temporary solutions to  bigger pending issues.  Imagine a person who puts on a band-aid due to an injury. Once the injury heals, the band-aid is taken off. It has served its function and its time to take it off.

Just like band-aid needs to be taken off when an injury heals, so your help may no longer be required when the person is stronger and can better handle the situation. The issue now is that you have become attached to the person you were trying to help and breaking off seems hard.

Band-Aids are good but they are temporary. We have all been or had band-aid relationships in our lives. Many people have felt used because someone they helped overcome a difficult situation moved on and left them hanging.  It is true that your feelings of ingratitude from the person you assisted may be justified, many times, you have just fallen victim of the band-aid relationship. When we try to outlive the season of any relationship, it gets sour and we  get frustrated. In band-aid relationships,  the person in question often sees you as a spacer (someone for the season) and you see the person as a keeper (long lasting). Not being on the same page results in both parties  being disappointed. In many band-aid relationships, the person going through a hard time is not  trying to use you. Just like you don't need a crutch when your leg heals, so does the person in question will let go of your assistance when they are better. So, you may want to check your motives before you decide to be a shoulder to lean on.

So what happens when you really like someone and you dont want to become a band-aid victim?

 It is important that you guard your emotions and be objective about the situation. Not every relationship is permanent, some are seasonal. Also, focus more on what the person needs and not what you have to get out of it. Ask yourself, if you are expecting a form of compensation or returned favor for the actions you are rendering? You can get other people involved so that the person in question is not overly dependent on you.  If your kind gesture is not reciprocated, you can be content that you did the right thing by helping a hurting soul. 

Remember, you only have control over your actions and not anyone else. Love is like a gift that you need not do anything to earn . 

Change with Change or Be Exchanged

I had mixed feelings when we moved to a different neighborhood when I was growing up. I was excited we were moving into a new house, but these feelings faded quickly when I thought about the friends I wouldn’t see anymore. I was not sure what our new environment would look like. Would the neighbors be friendly? Would I make new friends? Would the other kids even like me? So many questions flew through my head but very few answers. The thought of how things were going to be different was frightening.

I have come to accept that change is the only constant in this world. I didn’t like change because I was uncertain of what it would bring. We all want predictability in our lives to some degree. In my experience, change is an opportunity to get it right, a second chance to redefine and evolve.

Change comes to all of us and is a matter of when, not if. I believe the best way to prepare for change is to enjoy every season of life and leave no room for regrets. There are many things over which we have no control, but we do have a say about our memories. It takes only a moment for reality to become a memory, so make every one of them count.

There Is No Recipe for a Happy Relationship

The term happy relationship is relative. The criteria for judging whether a relationship is good or bad changes from person to person, which is why it is important you and your loved one work out what happy looks like to each of you in your relationship.

While I believe there is no recipe for a happy relationship, there are some ingredients that are always present in happy ones. Topping the list are unconditional love, respect, and forgiveness. Great relationships are never contractual. A relationship based on eye-for-an-eye, tooth-for-a-tooth is sure to fail.

There are many available resources for successful relationships, much of which can be confusing since people offer conflicting information on similar situations. In my experience, outside resources should serve as guides and not rules. No one knows your situation like you do. Knowledge is only powerful when it is applied, so I gather all the resources available to me and ask myself how I can apply them to my circumstance. You must customize the information available to you and make it your own.

What does a happy relationship look like for your partner and you? Remember, it all starts in the mind. A future you cannot picture you cannot feature in. You may need to discuss with your partner what a happy relationship looks like to each of you and make a road map. It is okay if you are not there yet; you can determine in which direction you need to be headed.

Regardless of your relationship health status, you can start your journey by creating a picture of a happy relationship in your mind. As Napoleon Hill says, “Whatever your mind can believe and conceive, it can achieve.”

911 Relationships

It often amazes me that we have insurance for everything ranging from life to flood coverages. This keeps us assured if and when anything goes wrong. What baffles me is that, when it comes to relationships, people are not getting themselves insured. We are not investing in relationships that will help and keep us going when the storms of life come our way. Just like we have to pay our taxes to help organizations like FEMA, police, fire department do their jobs. We also have to consciously invest in building meaningful relationships. I have realized that many of us have relationships that are a superficial (a mile wide but an inch deep). We seem to be uncomfortable  having deep relationships with others. Is this a possible reason that abusers and bullies get away because victims do not have deep enough connections that encourage them to be vulnerable and speak out about their issues? I believe 911 relationships can help reduce the rate of suicides in our country.

911 relationships are deep and significant connections in our lives. Such relationships are characterized by openness, vulnerability and desire to ensure mutual growth. 911 connections will pick up your call at 3 am and will travel the world to meet you if need be. 911 relationships are crucial and are at their best when emergencies occur. It's the depth of your relationships that activates their response. If your car broke down on the high way, you can’t just call triple AAA to respond right away. They would ask  for your policy number and not having that means you will have to pay a high premium, if you want the service right away.   We even need to be particularly attentive with the age of Facebook and Twitter that pose virtual friends or followers. While such technologies are great for business and recreation, they should not replace the power of personal connections. 

In death, loved ones come together to carry the coffin of the deceased, but you don't have to wait till then before the same ones carry you in life.

Are you a 911 friend to anyone? Do you have any 911 friends? The good news is that, it is not too late, you can start developing one today.

Blessing in Disguise

Always remind yourself that whoever walks out on you did not deserve you and is not connected to your future. (Of course, this is assuming you were not the cause of someone leaving you.) Like my parents used to say, a broken engagement is better than a broken marriage. It is a blessing to lose someone before the stakes are really high and the consequences even more so. It is their loss to not appreciate a diamond when they see one.

I have had people I loved and valued walk out on me, and those were hurting times. However, I must confess that in hindsight some of these “walk outs” were blessings in disguise. They made me stronger and wiser and taught me to believe in myself.

Sometimes it is appropriate for someone to walk out on us to snap us back to reality and save us from destruction. Many addicts seek help only when a loved one threatens to leave or actually walks out the door. In an abusive relationship, the person who is being abused is better off without the abuser. Hopefully, this will serve as a wake-up call for the abuser to seek help.

Side-Effects

What are the side effects of your actions? Do you know that  many prescription drugs do not make it to market because their side effects does more harm than good than the intended drug.  Similarly, It is important that we consider the consequences of our actions or in-actions before carrying them out.This is important because some decisions you make could have some un-intended consequences . Doing this could save you a lot of heartaches and regrets later.

There is Greatness within You

If you take a corn seed and plant it into the ground and water it, After some time it starts to grow and finally you have your harvest. You started with a seed and you now have hundreds or thousands of seeds attached round a maize cub. Similarly, the seed that you have is your talent, the soil that its planted in is your career/job/hobby. The watering is the development of your talent by applying yourself and constantly developing yourself through reading, association, workshops...etc. Increase comes with use. If you are frustrated and feel your current circumstance does not reflect your ability then ask yourself the following:

Do I have any talent?

Trust me, we all do. Many times we have a tendency to under play our talents and take them for granted.  look deep down inside of you or speak with close friends or family to help you discover what they think you do exceptionally well consistently and sparks your creativity. 

Am I in the right place? 

Where have you planted yourself in terms of a job, career, association etc? If you are in a place where your natural abilities are not encouraged and celebrated, you will feel discouraged and unvalued. If you have to change who you are in order to fit into your job role then you may need to think again. The way you are is because of why you are. Maize crops do not strive on beach soil but palm trees do. There are places that your personality and uniqueness fit, so there is no point trying to force a square peg in a round hole. Deposit your talent where the rate of success is high.

Am I applying myself?

This is taking responsibility to ensure you grow by investing in learning and development. Read books, seek out a mentor, Join clubs or associations that will lead you to your dreams. This way, you grow your talent to become a strength. Afterwards, you will see that you are performing at a high level consistently.

Take It Back

Too many times many of us let others define us by seeking permission to be ourselves, by constantly looking for affirmation and letting what others think of us dictate our actions. It is important we get to that point in our lives when we dont need anyone to treat us in a particular way to feel special. You existence is proof that you matter. You are peculiar and valuable, so make it count. 

My mantra is "I matter where it matters and where i do not matter, it does not matter"