It's Not Worth It

You have worked so hard and finally it has started to pay off. You are the rising star in your organization and your opportunities seem endless. Being the "go to" person comes with a lot of responsibility and an intense pressure to maintain the status quo . If we can take a que from history, sports and hollywood celebrities tend to do whatever it takes to maintain all the praise, fame and honor society pours on them. The attention they receive is like a drug and it is intoxicating.  These once innocent and hard working celebrities start cutting corners, move into drugs and do whatever is necessary to be number one. This concept does not apply only to celebrities but to anyone who holds any record of success.

History has shown that having positional leadership coupled with core values is a winning formula.  The combination of both is what makes great leaders.  Recently, General Patrieus, one of the greatest leaders of our nation had to give up his leadership position on moral grounds. There is no doubt that society has unrealistic expectations and is at times unforgiving of high achievers when they err. Whitney Houston, Michael Jackson, Bill Clinton and so many other "greats" in their fields have one time or the other slipped. Thankfully, some of them have been able to get back on track but many did not have the opportunity to rebuild and regain the public trust bestowed on them.

There is a seed of greatness in everyone of us but the real question is, what structures are we putting in place to ensure we do not compromise on the very principles that got us to the top in the first place? One potential solution is to have 911-relationships. These kind of relationships would ensure that you are accountable and stay on track. Anyone or organization can become successful but very few are able to withstand the pressure that comes with success. Are you going to trade your family name, reputation and earned success for a temporary hype of fame? Being a person of integrity is not a talent, it is a hard decision we have to make each day. Success at whatever the cost is not worth it.

Merry Christmas

A Season of Love

So it is Christmas and you have waited all year for this special season. A time of love, giving gifts and hanging out with loved ones. Some are excited about their gifts, while others are disappointed. Either way, it is important we remember that some people have no one to give them gifts. so let us choose to be grateful that we have people in our lives who can be a blessing to us. Let us focus on the real reason for christmas; it is about relationships. Christmas is a time to renew and reaffirm our commitment to our loved ones and remind them how much they mean to us. Many times we assume that our loved ones know how we feel about them but it is important that we actually tell them. Barbra Streisand mentioned on a Piers Morgan interview that her mother did not verbally tell her that she loved her. She assumed that Barbra would know that she loved her and she did not want that fact to get into her head. Barbra longed to hear her mum tell her "I love you". It is true that actions speak louder than words but actions and words speak loudest.

Christmas is a time to reconnect with old friends and rebuild strained bridges.It is a time to speak the truth in love. A time to forgive and be forgiven and a time to let the healing begin. You are the best christmas gift anyone can have. So, make this christmas season memorable for the people in your sphere of influence.
Your gifts cannot take the place of your presence.It is your presence that makes your presents meaningful. Make this holiday season memorable by telling someone you love them.

I hope this christmas is a good one and I hope you have fun. Merry Christmas everyone!

Scam Alert - Beware of 419 During This Season

Christmas is a season for shopping and scammers are also on the look out for your money. I posted my old DLSR camera on Craigslist to help off set the cost of getting a new one. The next morning I received  a message from Randy expressing interest in my camera. I was so excited, it seemed it was going to be  a quick sale. I verified my advertised information was accurate and Randy asked for my Paypal email which I sent. He sent me an email saying I should check my spam folder and I would see an email from paypal. I did see the email but there was an extra $100.00 more than my proposed sale amount. I asked Randy why he was giving me extra money and he said it was because he wanted it shipped urgently. I told him I would have to find out the cost of shipping which he responded that it will be $70.00. He told me he was sending the camera to his cousin for christmas and he sent me his address. I got a bit suspicious when I saw the name of his cousin and the country the mail was going to. Knowing that part of the world well, it was unlikely that the two would be connected but you never know. I told  Randy I was not comfortable sending a parcel outside the US and I would prefer to send it to him within the US. He told me he was not in the US. At this point I tried his number and it went to Google voice. My suspicions were kind of verified that I was dealing with an identity thief. I spoke with a few friends if they knew who I could report to but there were no obvious or easy places to go. Randy was not my real client, he was using someones identity. I had an option to close my eyes and send the camera, after all i had all the money but I couldn't bear the thought of supporting someone who was making  another persons  life miserable.

I spoke with a colleague about possible lines of action to take to stop the criminal. My colleague said most cases of fraud are that people are trying to take from you and not vice versa. This changed my strategy and I decided to call paypal. It was interesting to find out that the money my client claimed he had sent to me was not even there. The email I received from Paypal was forged but it looked pretty authentic to me. I decided to play along and told my client that I would not send the camera unless I received the money. He said I should not have called Paypal and he later threatened me that he will report me for not fulfilling my part of the bargain. My response, "Go ahead". I never heard back from Randy again.  I learned from this experience that while i was trying to protect my unknown neighbor, I was actually protecting myself. I also learned  sticking to my principles of working with Integrity even with a stranger over the internet  saved me a lot of money. Lessons to take away - Think again if you are to ship abroad from a craigslist and the number used cannot be reached directly. Make sure to call your bank or Paypal to verify that the money is in your account before shipping the item. Lastly, follow your intuition, if it does not feel right, don't do it.

I'll like to hear about your experiences 

2013 - Turning Resolutions into Realities

If you think 2013 starts in a few weeks you are probably running a little late. You will get best results for a future you prepare for. The year is coming to a close and I am guessing you are planning or already taken inventory of the good, could be better and delete lists from 2012.  I am sure you know that most new year resolutions do not work. They start to fail from week-1 because they lack details of how the plan will be  executed.  Mike Murdock said "You are going to be the same person that you are five years from now except two things change; the books you read and the company you keep". By default, situations just don't get better, we need to take some action to make them so. 

How is 2013 going to be different from 2012? If you want to make a difference in 2013, you may need to change your strategy in order to get better results. According to Napoleon Hill, "Whatever your mind can believe and conceive, it can achieve". It all starts in the mind; if you are going to achieve bigger and greater things in 2013 you need to have a picture of where you would rather be. You can only feature in a future you can picture. Your future is what you make of today. If you think you can, you are right, if you think you can't, you are also right. Your thoughts are the bedrock for a solid 2013. What else affects your mind and what you believe? Your confessions and the people you hang around can make or mar your new year.  If you keep saying negative things that's what you are going to get. If you are always around negative people, you will soon become one of them. 

A rubber band is only useful when it is stretched.  If you want to achieve greater, you need to position yourself in an environment that encourages and stimulates your productivity. Surround yourself and connect with mentors and people whose ethics and accomplishments you admire. You can only feature in a future you can picture. Dare to dream big. 

I'll like to hear about how you plan for the new year.

The Price of Leadership.

 I have heard many leaders say it can be lonely at the top. The road to success is often narrow and lonely. While there are many who enjoy the perks of being in the limelight, very few are able to bare the consequences of doing the right things. It is even harder on leaders when the right decisions are not the popular ones . Great leaders base their actions on how posterity will judge them and not scoring cheap points by satisfying only the present. Doing the right thing is not a talent, it is a choice every leader has to make. We make those choices  by first leading ourselves exceptionally before trying to lead others. When others see results in our lives they will follow without any reminders of positional authority over them. Great leaders have had causes that they believed in - the world celebrates Nelson Mandela today because he fought for a cause that he believed in and  was in prison for 27 years. Mother Theresa, a woman full of love for the less privileged made a huge impact in their lives.  Malala a young girl from Pakistan was shot and risked her life to promote freedom for other girls to be educated. Soldiers have given up their lives so that we can live freely today. For all the things we enjoy today, a  price had to be paid.
 What cause are you passionate about? Do you know that you can make a difference. You are a solution to your national, regional or local problems. Your ideas may help solve the problems facing the world today such as poverty,  food shortage, AIDS, energy crisis, financial instability. You dont have to wait for permission to start doing what you see in your mind and feel in your heart. Time is running out, the world needs you. There is something special about you that only you can offer.The only thing you cannot do is what you have not tried to do. You matter and you can make a difference.

We remember Nelson Mandela in our thoughts and prayers as he recovers.

I'll like to hear your thoughts and experiences.

A Tribute to the Victims of the Connecticut Shooting

A special tribute to the victims of the Connecticut shooting; 20 children and 6 adults lost their lives. They had holiday plans and their whole lives ahead of them but all that ended today. The country and Newtown community are rallying round to support the families who have lost their loved ones with their prayers and kindness. For the rest of us, remember today is what we have, tomorrow is a promise. It is important to make every moment count. Let go of any hurts or grievances you may have and live your life to the fullest. Forgiveness is a gift. It cannot be earned or deserved. It is a choice we have to make to give it. If it has to be earned, it would be called "for-selling" instead of "for-giving". Let us rebuild the broken bridges before its too late. My mum and I made up from a misunderstanding a day before she went to heaven. The last and beautiful memories I had of her keeps me going today and I couldn't have imagined it any other way. Pride and keeping grudges  are like bagage, so drop it. You can choose to give someone a second chance this holiday season.

Before its too late

Sam (not real name) was a friendly old man. He was probably in his sixties and always had so many stories of back in the day. Sam always stopped by my office to pick up our waste bin  and we usually had a 10 - 15 minute chat each time. A times I felt the pressure of work but I always reminded  myself that life is all about making a difference. If listening to Sam's repeated stories brought a smile to his face, I was not going to miss that opportunity. Recently, Sam told me he was retiring and he wanted to start a new life. Its been 2 weeks since I have seen Sam and its more obvious because our trash keeps piling and no one has come to get them.  We spoke to facilities about our predicament and we were told our bin should have been picked up once a week but Sam did it everyday because he had a friend in there. I was shocked. I didn't realize that Sam was doing more than what was expected of him. I started feeling guilty, I wished I had appreciated him more. Sam is gone and now I am discovering the vacuum he has left behind. I was swiftly comforted by the great conversations we had and life's counsel that Sam always gave me. I had appreciated Sam by listening to him and that had brought him back to our office without me even knowing  it made a difference to him. It dawned on me that this situation occurs in our professional and personal lives as well. Many times we are too busy meeting deadlines or networking that we forget to celebrate and appreciate our co-workers and loved ones. For some, the wake up call occurs when the individual says they are leaving. This prompts us telling them how wonderful they had been and how we valued their work. This is a good example of putting the cart before the horse. It's probable that they may have stayed, if we had valued them right from the beginning. Brains are like hearts they go where they are valued. People will never forget how you made them feel.  The world says you dont value something until you have lost it. I say, if you dont value something, you would loose it. Many people often walk away from a manager rather the company itself.  So, let the people in your sphere of influence know how much you value them before its too late.

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I'll be happy to hear your stories or experiences.

The Best Christmas Gift

Your  loved ones have already given you a list of potential things they would love for Christmas. I am guessing you are either relieved or overwhelmed depending on whether you have gotten your Christmas shopping done. Hopefully you dont overextend yourself by going into debt and using the first few months of the new year to recover. Our loved ones get over the gifts we give them pretty quickly and are always looking forward to the next one. This holiday season let us try to  appreciate  those we  spend most of our time with - colleagues at work. There is one gift that is not easily forgotten and will last forever in their hearts. It is the gift of love. I know you are loving by giving but you can add something that would make your gift look like a million dollars. You can add a heart felt note to your gift and let the recipient know how much you value them and how you hope for a better future with them. Better still, you can say it, make a video out of it...etc. These kind of gifts lasts a life time because the memories are endless. People may forget what you give to them but they will never forget how you made them feel. This Christmas why dont you reconnect with an old friend, a colleague or mend a broken bridge. Christmas is more than just shopping and hanging out around the dinner table. It is a time to let go of the gripes of the past and begin again.
Do you know that christmas is a miserable time for some people?  You can choose to have an early christmas for those who dont have anyone to share their love with. If you dont have a place to go, why dont you make your place a home that others can come to  and enjoy the holidays. Christmas like every other day is a time to forget about ourselves and focus on others. The best gifts cant be bought by money. By bringing happiness to others, we are truly enriching our own lives. Happy Christmas and Happy New Year!

What are you going to do differently this Christmas?  I'll like to hear your ideas and stories

The Beauty of Saying No

Many of us are not very comfortable saying no. The reasons vary from insecurity to cultural differences. We have become pros in making everyone but ourselves happy. Unfortunately, we are the ones that suffer the consequences.  If you are the kind of person that helps everyone but receive no help in return, then it is time for you to start learning how to say no. It is okay to say no. No does not have to mean never, it can mean not now or try again. Maybe if we knew why it was important to say no, we might consider practicing it and becoming good at it. Do you know that being able to say no says a lot of about your self-esteem? People who have a low self-esteem are afraid of saying no because they fear loss of a valuable relationship. Saying no means you value yourself,  time and space. It says you respect yourself and you have self-control. People who are able to say no have a lower chance of being taken advantage off. Saying no separates you from the rest of the crowd. No is an important word we should learn to use. When you say no with good intentions, the other party will understand. If they walk away, you have just saved yourself from an abusive relationship.  Learning to say no will help you avoid many unwanted troubles you had no business with in the first place

I must say there are times when we need to be flexible and compromise but that should be a choice we make. It shouldn't be under compulsion or what we think people expect from us. There is no point saying yes and doing it half-heartedly. The  consequences are worse than you declining originally.

I'll like to hear your experiences on how you are dealing with using the word No.

What Great Companies Do - A Lesson from Genencor

I got home yesterday and had  a box waiting for me. Upon opening it, there was a sweatshirt from Genencor (a company I interned at during summer). There was a hand written note that read, " Happy Holidays,  we hope that this sweatshirt will keep you warm! Good luck on your finals and thanks again for spending your summer with us! We miss you! ". 

I was impressed and touched at the same time. My internship was over but yet, they still made me feel valuable for my contributions to the company. I guess it is no surprise that they are one of the best companies to work for in the Bay Area. I wish more companies realize that brains are like hearts and they go where they are valued. The best way to retain talents is not just a great pay check but creating an atmosphere where people can be themselves and know they have a voice in the organization. As an intern at Genencor, I worked on projects that were top priority to the company. I was encouraged to use my talents in creative ways. The best part of my internship was the people I interacted with. From the receptionist desk to the boardroom, you really could not tell who was who. Everyone was valuable and Genecor made it a point to let us know we were appreciated.

When employers appreciate and value their employees, they are on track to moving from good to great. Thanks Genencor for leading the way!

I'll like to hear your experiences of how your organization has shown they care.